Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Ugh.

If yesterday felt like being on a cruise, today feels like we're floating on driftwood in the middle of a squall. Not so good.

Dad's not doing great. He once again has pneumonia, and because of the heavy secretions he's back on the respirator at night and he can't use the talking valve. His body is swollen from all the fluids he has been receiving and he can't really do any rehab when he's sick. He's also depressed and seems to be withdrawing from almost everyone except mom. He won't make eye contact with people and for the most part just doesn't give a crap about anything. You know it's bad when he doesn't even look at the grandkids. It's not the dad that we know. For now, it's back to no visitors...it's not good for his pneumonia nor does he want to see anyone. Obviously, things are not going well.

More than ever it feels like we are in the middle of a big flippin' storm and we're all getting caught in the downpour. We're tired, scared, and sick of getting wet. Sometimes we want to scream, "God, don't you care? Don't you care that dad is sick and getting sicker? Don't you care that we are perishing over here? DON'T YOU CARE?"

But I know it's always easier to blame God than to seek Him. It's always easier to grasp the power of the storm than the power of the Lord. I will not take the easy way out...I refuse. God is allowing this storm because all sunshine and no rain make for a dry life. I know without a doubt that God is in this storm with us, that He could end it in a split second if He so chose. But for now He's not calming our storm. But I do know He's asking us "Why are you so afraid? Why are you so flippin' afraid?" (Then I wonder if God would ever say 'flippin'....)

We have nothing to fear. And I thank God for the chance to prove that we are not afraid...for the chance to walk the walk. What do I really believe when the rubber hits the road?...what do I really believe when my driftwood hits a nasty squall?

I believe in God. Period. I believe He will calm this storm in His own timing. I believe He wants more of us than a dry life where we run scared whenever the sun don't shine. He wants to be praised in the calm...and in the storm.

There's a chorus that I can't get out of my head today...from some song from some band I don't know. And I don't even know if these are the right words....but it's the only thing that gets me through today.

I will praise You in this storm.
And I will lift my hands.
For You are who You are,
No matter where I am.
And every tear that falls,
You hold in Your hand.
Though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm.

Our hearts are torn. We're definitely in the storm. But we praise God. And we keep on praying.
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12 comments:

Anonymous said...

"The eagle is the only bird that can lock its wings and wait for the right wind. It waits for the updraft and never has to flap its wings--just loar. So as we wait on God, He will help us use the adversities and strong winds of life to our benefit!"
Billy Graham

Those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles. Isaiah 40:31

We feel your pain. We understand your questions. We support you in love and prayers. We hold your arms up as they are tired from the battle. We care so very much for all of you. We ask all in God's timing and according to His will. Amen and Amen

May Jesus visit tonight and bring all that is needed. He is the answer.

Thank you Amy for sharing all that you are experiencing. Your transparent sharing is refreshing and I know God hears your heart crying out during the pain and trials.

linda lentz

January 16, 2007 at 8:20 PM
Anonymous said...

comments are acting up again. you must send all under anonymous

January 16, 2007 at 8:21 PM
Anonymous said...

We are praying, praying, praying. Pat is bathed in prayer at this very moment. Every moment I think of him, I pray....and I think of him, and all of you, constantly.
Love you,
Arch

January 16, 2007 at 8:55 PM
Anonymous said...

Linda,

Jeremy Camp, that is the artist, I am almost sure. He wrote the song when his new wife died of cancer. It is a powerful song, just keep trusting and praying.
We are too.

January 16, 2007 at 9:24 PM
Anonymous said...

I didn't know about the no visitor thing until I checked this tonight. I did stop in for just a couple minutes (maybe 3 or 4) while I was at Froedert this afternoon. I have to say I was impressed! He looked so great to me. The moment I walked in Bohrman turned his head and mouthed "Hi Julie!" the very next thing he said was "how are you" and then "are you ok?" When I told him I was doing just fine he gave me a smiling, teary-eyed "thank God". Still sweet, caring and adorable as ever. I never would have known he was having a bad day unless I read the blog.

Here is a portion of a devotional my Aunt sent to me today. It is called "Faith Grows Amid Storms" Maybe it was ultimately meant for you:

"Faith grows amid storms"--just four words, but oh, how full of import to the soul who has been in the storms!
Faith is that God-given faculty which, when exercised, brings the unseen into plain view, and by which the impossible things are made possible. It deals with supernaturals.
"It is a pathway of sorrow and joy, of suffering and healing balm, of tears and smiles, of trials and victories, of conflicts and triumphs, of hardships and perils and buffetings, of persecutions and misunderstandings, of troubles and distress; through all of which we are made more than conquerors through Him who loves us.
"Amid storms." Right in the midst where it is fiercest. You may shrink back from the ordeal of a fierce storm of trial…but go in! God is there to meet you in the center of all your trials, and to whisper His secrets which will make you come forth with a shining face and an indomitable faith that all the demons of hell shall never afterwards cause to waver. --E. A. Kilbourne"

Praying tomorrow will be better.

Love,
Julie (Ahrendt) Simons

January 16, 2007 at 9:24 PM
Anonymous said...

Twice today I heard reference to the sparrow. One of my mom's favorite hymns has the line, "His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me". Some of my favorite Psalms are David's cries to the Lord. I believe God draws us neerer than we thought possible when we cry out to Him in need. He loves you so much and wants to shoulder your burden. I pray tonight for Pat's physical well-being, for the pneumonia to be gone, for the fluid retention to subside, but more than anything that he would feel the comfort of His Lord's arms holding him so tightly that He knows he can never fall. I pray the same for all of you. His eye is on the sparrow, and I KNOW He watches YOU.
All our love, the Hargans

January 16, 2007 at 9:48 PM
Anonymous said...

God We pray that Pat and all the Bohrmans see a better day tomorrow.

God give Pat the strength to get rid of the pneumonia and get back to rehab.

January 16, 2007 at 10:47 PM
Tkh said...

What can I do at 4 in the morning but pray for our Bohr and my Dad? Oh God you are so good in the midst of everything. Thank you for the glimpse of heaven that you give us each day - we know that this will all fade away some day and that your love endures forever!

Amy I thank God for your authenticity! Special hugs to your Mom. Love Hubbell

January 17, 2007 at 4:22 AM
Anonymous said...

Bohrmans-
Our hearts and minds are stayed on YOU, Lord. Jesus, we come to YOU now for we are heavyladen and we are overburdened. Please cause Pat to rest and give him healing of his pneumonia and any depression that would sweep over him or the family; for we are submitting to YOU. Only YOU can ease, relieve, and refresh! We take Your Yoke upon us, for Your burden is light and easy to bear. Father, we thank YOU that YOUR presence goes before and after Pat. Please God, we all wait expectantly for YOU; and we shall yet praise YOU, for YOU are the help of our countenance. Help the Bohrmans to be still and rest in YOU. Encourage, strengthen, and sustain them, Father, for we ask this in Jesus name. Amen
Love in Christ<><
Jenny Fell

January 17, 2007 at 7:29 AM
Anonymous said...

"There's a Light that shines on
all people;
sees them through.
It waits and watches them move
through their lives like people
do.
There's only so much we can be
sure of; we can see.
The rest belongs to time and
things that are meant to be."

Ames, just thought I'd share some of my favorite lyrics (written by Michael McDonald, the year you were born)...
God is well in control...
Rest in that, sweetie...
love and prayers,
aunt p

January 17, 2007 at 10:33 AM
Anonymous said...

"Praise You In This Storm"
By CASTING CROWNS

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

January 17, 2007 at 4:11 PM
Anonymous said...

Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."

Joshua 3:5

Tomorrow will be better.

January 17, 2007 at 5:15 PM

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