Stinky but Sweet

I feel much better...thanks. I laughed when I read a comment about me needing a break, as I think about my precious sister-in-law Becky who's pregnant with a third, big, fat, Bohrman baby and a husband who's out of town flying, and a job as the secretary of dad's company...now there's a lady who needs a break! So after this I'm on my way over there for some serious snow fort building and sledding madness with Cole and Paige...hey, I've definitely got the easy job....

Now back to Pops...

For the most part, Dad doesn't like to talk about his accident. A few weeks back, I asked what he remembered, and he just shook his head and said, "Too scary...too scary...". But he has a psychologist that meets with him at the hospital and she sometimes gets him to open up about it. It turns out that it didn't happen as we expected. We always thought it was a split second thing...that the drill grabbed his zipper and immediately sucked him in and he was unconscious instantly. But from what he told his psychologist, the drill was moving pretty slowly and he was very aware of what was happening. So his zipper got pulled in and the jacket slowly wrapped around his neck tighter and tighter until he slowly suffocated. Even after the drill stopped he may have been awake for a few excruciating seconds, maybe moments until he finally passed out. He said he thought for sure he was dying. If the drill had taken even one more revolution...he most likely would have been.

So its makes sense that he would have anxiety about his breathing. The second he feels he's not getting enough oxygen, he starts to panic...and why wouldn't he? I'm sure it takes him right back to that machine, right back to that feeling of knowing he's suffocating but he's completely helpless to do anything about it. So scary.

All that to say, yesterday morning was pretty bad for him...lots of anxiety, lots of panic about the breathing. So the doctors decided to put him back on the respirator. An obvious setback, as the whole weening process has to start over when he's ready to be off.

An even larger setback is that they discovered his pneumonia has worsened. They decided he needed to be back in Intensive Care, so yesterday he was transferred back down to where he spent his first three weeks. The doctors said it would only be for a few days, and we pray that that is the case. This is his third bout with pneumonia in only six weeks, so they want to be able to closely monitor him and make sure it's taken care of. All things that are better done in the ICU, so he's in the best place. But definitely a huge leap backwards.

Which is why it's surprising that mom would say yesterday was the best day she's had with Pops in a month. He was more peaceful and happy yesterday than he's ever been. He's not frustrated that he's back on the respirator, and he's not discouraged that he's back in ICU (heck, he doesn't even remember being there anyway...it's all new to him). She said they had the best afternoon together, laughing, talking/mouthing, and just being in love. At one point she said, "Bohr, do you realize we've been married for 35 years, and this is the most intimate we've ever been?" He very much agrees...there's something so intimate about just being able to stare into each other's eyes and understand what's being said when no words can be spoken. For the first time, dad was able to talk a little about their future together...what he and mom's life will look like. He hasn't really been able to go that deep yet, so it was so good for him to talk about it. Both mom and dad are pretty excited for their future, even though it may look quite different than what they had planned. To know Pops is happy makes us all happy, even if he is back in ICU...and on the respirator.

So praise God for such a special afternoon for the two of them, and thank God for such peace in dad's heart. What sweet blessings in the middle of a pretty stinky day. Why it's happening, God only knows, and we continue to praise him for everything. We'll see how today goes for Pops, just keep praying for that pneumonia to go away...