Saturday Night

Not much new to report. We all saw dad for awhile today, he seemed about the same as yesterday. They are constantly adjusting his pain meds, trying new sedatives, reducing this, removing that. He is in a sort of semi-conscience state, drifting in and out. He will open his eyes, look at us, and sometimes give us a tiny smile. Other times he looks at us and just stares. It's still very obvious that he hates the tubes and neck brace, he thrashes his head from side to side and tries to chew his tubes. We realize most of this is just his body reacting to the foreign object being forced down his throat, but it is so hard to watch helpless knowing the dad we love is in such discomfort. His levels are still holding, and we continue to pray, pray, pray that he gets a trach soon. Tomorrow is his birthday, so we are hoping that a tracheotomy will be his big birthday present. If not, we wait for God's timing. I definitely have my opinions on when things should be happening, but God has the master timetable for dad's recovery. We trust in His perfect wisdom and timing.

Mom is much more comfortable now as they brought in a recliner to dad's ICU room. She is able to be right next to him, which she loves because even if she catches a nap, she can just open her eyes and he's right there. She says it's payback for all the times dad dozed off in the recliner while she was in labor with us three kids.

Our family had planned long ago to be celebrating Christmas this weekend, since P.J. and Kersta will be in Arizona for the holidays. We shared a good dinner, opened some presents, enjoyed the excitement of the little ones. Of course there was an unspoken sadness that dad was not sharing it all with us. I know we would trade the presents, the carols, the tree, all of it, just to have Pops here. But I know that's all part of what God is teaching us through this. I thank Him for the chance to see just how meaningless so much of Christmas is. I thank Him for giving us a clearer picture of His love. I thank Him for using our dad in a hospital bed to make us better understand the gift of a babe in a manger.