More Smoochin'....Ewww.

Dad has had a good day so far...just got an update from mom and she sounds very encouraged. She sees a little more of "dad" today than yesterday. Apparently, he's been eating a ton of ice and loving it...it must feel so good on an injured throat that's been dry for 12 days. He's had a few more smiles, and even some more "kisses" for mom...whoa...slow down big fella. A good family friend was in to see mom, and he talked to dad for a little bit. He leaned over dad and said "Bohr, you're doing great, your wife and kids are doing great...they're just great." Dad then mouthed the words "thank you"! It was enough of a surprise to bring his friend to tears, and I love that his first mouthing was a 'thank you'. I guess I assumed that his first communication would be aimed towards mom's bad singing or let's admit it...sometimes bad breath. His tracheotomy seems to have brought him a little more calmness, and a little less anxiety. Mom described him well when she said he's kind of like a drunk 12 year old. A pretty good description. Thank God for a great day of baby steps. Thank God for His perfect timing.

I have been telling mom for awhile that she should write a post herself, but her fear of the internet and her belief that "it's just a fad and it will go away" seems to scare her off. It turns out that late the other night while she was at the hospital, she wrote a letter to be put on the blog. If you know mom at all, you know that if she is given the opportunity to speak, you can bet your sweet buns she'll take it...every time. So here is a post from mom (Jeannie):

"I am writing to all of you to thank you for all of your kindness and most importantly, your prayers. To those of you who have been left "wondering" about some of what you have read on this blog...please be assured, it is no accident. It is your Heavenly Father calling out to you-telling you how very real He is-that He wants you to acknowledge and know how much He loves you. Whatever 'stuff' you think has blocked your path to Him..and He knows it all...acknowledge it and then let it go. He forgives you...all He wants is for you to believe that He loves you with an unconditional love-a love that surpasses our comprehension-a love that involves a plan for your life. This all may seem very heavy for many of you, but I write it because I know that Pat would want me to.

In all of this so called "tragedy", I count it a privilege that my Heavenly Father has allowed our family and friends to share their faith on a "world wide" blog...an opportunity few are given. I am humbled. I know, without a doubt, that everything in my life that I would consider "bad" has turned out to be a blessing...that is His promise. In time, I see His perfect plan in my life-He has never failed me. I may not understand, but I live with the assurance that I will...in time. Yes, I have doubted, wishing this had happened to me-I'm usually immobile anyway. I don't roller-blade around town with the dog whenever the weather permits, I don't snowboard with the kids, I don't drive around during a snowstorm with the grandchildren in their car seats plowing people's driveways 'just for the fun of it'. And I have moments, usually when my mind and body are tired and weak, that I say "Why not me, Lord? Why not me?" And then He speaks to me through our daughter whose faith amazes me, whose faith has grown because of some so-called "bad" stuff she's had to deal with these past couple of years...and she says, simply, "Mom, if God had wanted it to be you, it would have been you." So simple, so true, so reassuring. God has prepared her and myself and P.J. and Mike for this time. I know, without a doubt, that the "stirring" I felt to pray with Pat the morning of his accident was heaven sent. My Heavenly Father speaking to me through the Holy Spirit...it's happened before...it will happen again. I had no idea what lay ahead that day, but God did and He knows that every time I think about my stirring and that prayer with Pat, I am humbled and assured of His love for us...that He loves us and will guide us both in the days ahead.

Do I cry? Of course I cry. Usually when I am tired. But it is an emotion, just an emotion, not a fact...God gave me tear ducts, He knows each tear I shed. Faith is not built on emotion, it's built on fact. The fact that God is real, alive, and with me always. A committed relationship is not based on feelings, it's based on fact. I've always told the kids, "If I left you father every time I didn't 'feel' in love with him, it would have been a thousand times!" And so it is in a committed relationship with Christ. Not feelings, but fact. The fact that He is all-knowing, all-powerful, almighty, and so very alive and real. As I send you all this Christmas blessing, please ask yourself, "What have I done with this God-do I in fact believe? Am I searching? Is He real?" Remember, it's no accident you are being touched by the words you read on this blog. You've done nothing, absolutely nothing in this life that keeps Him from loving you. All He wants is for you to believe...in Him...and trust in His plan for your life...to get the 'stuff' in your life out of the way and run into His loving arms. The bible is His love letter to all of us, though out of it's living words it doesn't suggest we try to figure things out-it simply keeps saying "Trust me. Trust me. Trust me."

I do trust, and believe it or not, I feel so very blessed in the midst of all this to have a new perspective on this life. To appreciate the smallest of things...warm water running over my hands, a sunny day in a usually cloudy month, and a never-ending assurance of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me...and Pat. I am changed forever-never wanting to go back-for I am enjoying the sound of our grandchildren's laughter like never before. I see the faith of our children put into action that is so pleasing to God...and I am realizing that so many of our friends and family are "wondering" and I am so very thankful as I remember what it was like to "wonder". I know it was the beginning of my faith walk. Some of us have been believers longer than others-but it is not a contest. It is a very personal heart search-a very personal relationship between you and God...He speaks to us through people and situations He puts into our lives. We are all so very different, each with very unique personalities...He made us that way. And for that reason, we all hear Him differently...intimately...within our hearts. Just me and Thee...

No matter what happens, I know Pat is heaven bound. God decided when we would enter this world, and there is great peace in knowing He has already decided when we will leave it. My prayer for all of you is that you know you are heaven bound by believing that Christ sent His son Jesus to die for each of us. I know this is all somewhat overwhelming, but remember, if Christ were small enough for us to understand, He wouldn't be big enough for us worship. He simply says, "Trust me"...and I do.