New Year's Eve

Just another day for Pops...not much to say. He is still so exhausted and slept much of the day. He is doing well with his breathing...up to an hour and a half on his own. But he is still out of it, he's not able to sit and have a conversation or anything.

Since there's not much news today, I thought I would include a letter that P.J. wrote two days ago...dad's "wake-up day". This hits us all differently, and I thought it was a sweet letter for dad to read someday. So here's a note from my little brother, Peege:

We arrived back in Denver amidst the two biggest storms of the season. Being cooped up in our apartment forced us into a day of solitude and reflection which we didn’t anticipate being so difficult. The week after the accident our minds were kept busy, focusing on ways we could lend a helping hand in a time of chaos. Its almost comical looking back on that first week as we went from care free newlyweds in Denver to part time and completely inexperienced “machine shop administrators”. Dad would have laughed to see me in his work clothes and his boots, carrying his cell phone around pretending that I had answers to questions being asked by visitors. It was scary being at the shop without Dad, but I knew he would be proud to know that his kids were doing all they could to help. We thank God for the strength he gave us to get through that week, for Rudy who has been an amazing partner and friend to Dad at Genesis, and for all of our friends and family who flooded us with support. Whether it was a phone call, an email, a warm meal, or even a simple text message to remind us of the prayers being said, we knew we weren’t alone… and neither was Dad.

Since leaving Wisconsin , it has been incredible to see how many people are sincerely praying for Dad’s recovery. While in Tucson last week visiting Kersta’s family, several members of her church greeted us in a warm embrace and comforted us with their promise of prayer. I have also received emails of prayer networks from churches in Nebraska , Denver , Los Angeles , Hawaii , South Dakota , Minnesota , Florida , and Texas . The support is overwhelming, and we couldn’t be more grateful for these prayers.

Despite amazing encouragement and prayer, there are still days when fear and doubt set in. Last night I was digging our cars out of snow for four hours. It wasn’t the work that was frustrating, but the thoughts and fears that only a quiet snowy night in a back alley would allow. With each shovel of snow, I thought: If our God is the God who loved us so much He sent His Son to die for our sins… if He is the One who can make our hearts as clear, as pure, and as white as snow, then why would he let this happen to Dad. With this and a four hour drive to the airport to pick up a friend, I was tired, frustrated, and angrier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I came home and vented to Kersta until 2:30 in the morning and was scared of my fears and doubts. Kersta prayed a simple prayer, and asked that God would reveal Himself to us once again. She prayed for a sign, or some sort of reassurance that He was there and was listening to us and that Dad was indeed under the watch of His angels. Early the next morning I woke up to a message from Mom who was very excited to report to us that Dad was with us, that he didn’t remember the last three weeks, and that he was rejoicing in his life. Tears overflowed as once again as God’s loving arms embraced and comforted us. We realized God was with us and He always has been. God is obviously working in all of our hearts in different ways and at different times and we are excited for what he is doing in our hearts. We celebrate Dad’s vast improvement today, and our restored faith that God is in control. There is still so much more work to be done, but we rest tonight assured that our God is good.

And One Tiny Step Back

Ok, so I guess we should be used to this by now. It's so easy to forget that this road we're on has hills and valleys. We just get so darn excited when he's had a great day that we forget there will still be ups...and downs. Nothing bad happened today, we just didn't see dad in his top form like yesterday. He says he remembers yesterday's conversations, seeing Becky and the kids, seeing his brothers, and moving into the spinal cord unit. So we know that yesterday was truly a wake-up day for him. But today he was just emotionally and physically drained. And why wouldn't he be...today he was 'awake' for the first time as he was lifted into his wheelchair, as he saw his own body and all the muscle he has lost. He looks quite different than he did three weeks ago, and although we have grown accustomed to the change, he hasn't. It took a lot out of him to be faced with the reality of how broken his body really is.

It's good to see him starting to take care of himself...he now has a straw that he can blow into to get the nurse's attention, he now has a suction tube that hangs right in front of him that lets him clear out his own mouth. Those spinal cord nurses really know what they're doing, and they won't do anything for him that he can do himself...which isn't much, but you've got to start somewhere. So we are at peace knowing he's in excellent hands. He slept for some of the time while we were there, and right now he just is not in the shape to have visitors. The respiratory therapist is in with him a lot, and dad needs quiet to work on breathing on his own. He has moments when he is off the respirator that he seems to panic...it must be a scary feeling breathing alone after having a machine take your every breath for you the past three weeks. So he really needs more time to get better, and we thank you so much for honoring that request. When he is off of the respirator in the next few weeks, he will be able to speak...can't wait. Right now, he just gets frustrated when he can't communicate, so it's better to let him be.

Although he was somewhat out of it today, we thank God that we know he's in there. Yesterday was a blessing because it assured us that he's really all there. We ask for prayer tonight that he would sleep well. He is so tired, and we pray for his peace of mind so that he can get some good rest. Tomorrow is a new day...it may be a hill, it may be a valley....but God is in both so it just don't matter!

Bye-Bye ICU!

If yesterday was bittersweet, today was pure unadulterated sweetness. Dad was moved from the ICU to the spinal cord unit! What a huge step. We had heard rumors this may be happening, but never a for sure date. Then the doctors came in today and said he was going. Praise God...what a huge blessing this is.

To top it off, dad "woke-up"today. We've been saying for these past three weeks that he really hasn't been "all there" and would somewhat float in and out of reality. Well, today was definitely the first day that we really saw dad as we know him. As soon as mom started talking to him this morning, she noticed he was different. His facial expressions, the way he talked, his responses to questions...all were clearly dad for the first time in three weeks. Mom started to tell him where he was, what had happened, how long he'd been at the hospital...his only response was utter shock. He said that he has absolutely no recollection of the last 21 days. He doesn't remember ever seeing any of us, doesn't remember the nurses that have cared for him all this time, doesn't remember the surgeries, the awful tubes in his throat, or all the singing. He was stunned as mom filled him in on the last 3 weeks, from the helicopter ride, the news stories, his having to be recessitated in the middle of the night. Mom asked if she should keep telling him what has happened, and he very much wanted to know everything. He couldn't believe Christmas had come and gone, that it was almost the new year. He said to mom, "I should be dead...Thank God that I am here." Absolutely Pops! That's what we've all been thinking the last 3 weeks!

Today was an absolute gift from God. To see the dad that we know, without a doubt. I have never heard mom sound this happy in the last three weeks. I know in the back of our minds we have all been wondering if the Pops we love was gone forever...if he was ever coming back. Until today, we never had a good idea if his mind would ever be the same. But without a doubt, he's truly back, baby! This was a huge day. And amazing to me how perfect God's timing really is. The day that he is transferred to the spinal cord unit is the day he "wakes up". Just when we really need his mind strong and focused for the grueling work of rehab, he's ready for it. Praise be to God for going before us and for this most sweet day. Absolutely amazing. A day we will never forget.

Another reason I will never forget today was a story mom told me. As she arrived at dad's room this morning, she turned the corner to see dad's good friend Dan in the room with dad. Dad and Dan have been prayer partners for the last 20 years, meeting together faithfully every Friday morning. This Friday morning, Dan faithfully came to not only pray with dad, but to give him a much needed foot rub. Mom said it was moving to watch this 6 foot 6 man, bending over and tenderly putting lotion on dad's swollen feet...so precious to watch as he cared for his brother in Christ. When I heard this, I started to cry. What an amazing picture of having a servant heart, a Christ-like attitude. To know that if my mom had not accidently seen this picture of brotherly love, we would never have known about it. It was done in pure humility, out of love for a friend. Thank you Dan for your awesome example of Jesus that you set for all of us. Let us all be as pure in heart and motive, and serve each other in humility. I thank God for you, Dan. May you have 30 more years of Friday morning prayer meetings with dad.

And bless you for touching dad's somewhat nasty old man feet...let's be honest. They're just not that pretty.

Let's give God the glory for today, the three week anniversary of the accident. I know the spinal cord unit is very strict on visiting hours, so as soon as we know details we promise to let you know. But for now, keep on praying! Good night and God bless!

A Bittersweet Day

Mom described her day with dad as bittersweet. Good things are happening...fever is staying down, antibiotics seem to be taking care of the pneumonia...he's coughing up less secretions. But as his body slowly heals, his heart is heavy...he's frustrated, he's sad. Mom saw his lip start to quiver today, something she hasn't really seen yet. He was a little more "with it", mom said he seemed to comprehend a little more than he did yesterday. He still tends to nod "yes" to questions kind of as a default, when you wonder if he really understood. His nurse commented he has great manners with the staff, always mouthing "thank you", "you're a lifesaver", and "what would I do without you". Precious.

Mom was taken on a tour of the spinal cord unit today...kind of a reality check of sorts. It's one thing to see dad in intensive care, where they focus more on his immediate health. It's a very different thing to see where he will be spending his next weeks...and months....to see the reality of wheelchairs....the spinal cord gym...the bustle of physical therapists, occupational therapists...countless other "ists" we don't even know of yet. I myself was in the spinal cord unit as well this week, and it makes you start to think of where the nexts months will take us. There is so much ahead for dad, so much work to be done. It's overwhelming.

But we can only take one day at a time, one hurdle at a time. So tonight we continue to pray for the pneumonia to be gone for good...his fever to stay down....but and also for his heart. We really want to pray for dad to have some good conversations with God. Once he does move up to that spinal cord unit, he will be a busy man. But right now he has the gift of peace and quiet, the chance to just be still and know that God is God. So we pray that in the quiet of his ICU room, he takes his frustration and anger to the feet of Christ...that God would be speaking to him this very minute.

We love you so much dad. We pray that you would come out of this a changed man. A better man. A stronger man of God. Love ya, goodnight, love ya.

Wednesday Night

Unfortunately, dad's fever rose today because of the pneumonia so he was unable to work on breathing on his own. So he didn't necessarily slide backwards, but no progress was made. (Except, as earlier stated, some ever exciting mustache growth. It's coming back quite nicely.) Although he was unable to do any respiratory exercises, he was sat up in more of a sitting position for four hours, which helps heal his lungs.

He was pretty cranky this evening, I caught him mouthing "Why! Why! Why!" and even a swear word or two. As surprising as it is, it is good to see him getting angry because to me it means he is dealing with what's happened. It's hard to tell what he was mad at, whether it was the sitting up for four hours (he's not a huge fan), or his overall condition and paralysis. Either way, it's good to see the emotion...he definitely needs to go through an anger stage. Once he was laid back down, he was more peaceful and fell asleep pretty quickly. We continue to pray that the fever dissipates, the pneumonia goes away, and he can work on his breathing tomorrow. We pray for his broken body, but we also pray for his heart, that he would not give up in frustration. It will take a lot of work on his part to get better, pray for a spirit of humility and peace as he heals.

We took some of his favorite worship CD's that mom likes to listen to in his car and played them in a walkman for him. He seemed to like it, but soon shook his head no. Maybe a little too much for him just yet. Someday I'm sure he'll like them. Mom also says thank you to those who sent gas cards....you'd be proud to know she is driving just under the speed limit to get the most for her money.

Pray for Pops tonight! No more pneumonia...no more infections...and some progress tomorrow. Baby steps are better than no steps!

ICU, do U C Me?

Again, not too much to report today. (When we said the progress would be slow, we really weren't kidding.) Dad seemed a little less frustrated than yesterday, a little bit more peaceful. There has been some setbacks with his lungs. It turns out the pneumonia (which was pretty much gone) has returned and has brought his temperature up a little bit. So he is back on antibiotics which will hopefully take care of it. One concern with his pneumonia is that it prevents his trach incision from healing, which opens the door for possible infection, etc. Obviously the pneumonia is bad for his lungs, which are already weak because of being on the respirator for so long. So our main prayer is to rid his body of the pneumonia. Although his lungs are not great, he was able to breath on his own for a whole 20 minutes today, and they were going to try again later tonight. This is really encouraging as his lungs need to get stronger and that won't happen while he's on the respirator. Praise God that he was able to breath on his own and his heart rate did not fluctuate. There are plenty of things to be thankful for if you just stop to look for them.

He still floats in and out, still says some crazy things, and still has a good smile or two right when you need it. Sometimes I get impatient and I just want to be assured that he knows I'm there. I find myself saying "Do you see me, Pops? Do you know it's me?" Sometimes he stares, a lot of times he nods. I just have to trust that he's progressing. Mom and I just laughed today as dad threw us some crazy faces. We would just love to know what's going through his mind sometimes. Just watching him from across the room, you have to wonder if he has any idea what's going on. Part of you hopes he really won't remember his stay in the ICU...it's hard to see him in this condition. But of course we have moments of encouragement and the ever-present sense of God's peace. I find myself asking God several times a day, "Alright God, what do you want me to learn from this? How do you want me changed?" I know He has precise plans for not only me, but everyone touched by this, and for that I am thankful.

Mom is doing well. She told me tonight that her favorite part of every day is her early morning drive to the hospital. I thought that was a bit odd until she explained that it's on her way there that she feels the closest to dad...watching the sun rise while driving his favorite car, listening to his favorite CD's, trying to break 100 mph without getting caught. Ok, so she doesn't do that last one, but dad totally would. I think sitting in his car listening to his tunes is the closest thing to a hug she can get from dad right now. What celebration there will be on the day we can all get a huge dad-bear-hug...I can't wait. But I will. We're all gettin' pretty good at it.

Praise God for another day...what a blessing.

Blah Humbug

Kind of a blah day for Pops....not much new to report. He was very tired from all of the emotion and family time from yesterday, so today was a sleepy day for him. We all agreed he seemed "sad". I think he really is understanding his condition more and more, and the frustration is really setting in. He just wasn't 'there' too much today, he didn't really connect well with anyone, except probably for mom. Although he does seem to really listen to Mike. Mike does a good job trying to explain what has happened to him. Mike also brought him a toffee ice cream bar, so maybe that's why dad is so attentive to him....hmmmmm.

So we just keep on praying...even as he slept tonight we prayed over him, that God would have his way in dad's heart. Days like today get us all down, but we continue to have hope that good things are happening. Hey, even if it seems he made no progress today, we must remember that his mustache is growing...so there is progress! Tomorrow is a new day that will bring new challenges...and hopefully some new baby steps for Pops. We thank God for the peace of knowing dad is in good hands, medically and spiritually speaking! Enjoy the rest of your Christmas night...God bless.

Christmas Eve

What a blessing to wake up to sunshine!! Finally a bright day among many dull, grey ones. Physically, dad is about the same as he has been, still moving that right arm a lot, he even scratched his own ear today. It may have been an accident, but a good scratch none the less. We are seeing improvements in his comprehension, which is a big step for him. He started the day off with more comments like "let's go home", "stand me up so I can walk", and "I want to go fast". But as the day wore on and we tried explaining things to him, he seemed to finally start to get it. The biggest moment of the day was probably when he said to Mike and I, "I am beginning to understand what happened". That was huge. This may have been the first day that he was 'with it' enough to know he was even in a hospital. Although this is day 16 to us, it may be only day 1 for Pops. There were a few more times that he would say he wanted to go home, but in his condition, who wouldn't want to get out of there. We all agreed he is making progress in his comprehension, so we are anxious to see how he is the next few days. It is still a very slow process, but so exciting to see little changes. Praise God for the little changes.

He ate some more chocolate today...I mean, what the heck...it is Christmas. How can we say no? Mom also started to rub his feet this afternoon....we asked if it felt good...he said "OOOOHHHH yeah". This of course is exciting because although he is not moving his legs at all, he can feel a good foot rub. Thank God...it's a good sign. I told him to make mom give him foot rubs ALL day tomorrow...he gave a little smile and seemed to think it was a good idea. It is still hard to understand everything he is mouthing, and I know he gets frustrated with us at times because we just don't know what he's saying. There are certainly times that he's just 'not there', and sometimes stares blankly at nothing. But we are seeing improvements! What an answer to so many prayers that are being poured out on his behalf. No Christmas present in the world would be better than seeing more tiny improvements tomorrow.

As we talked tonight, I know that our family is so thankful that Christmas will never be the same for us. We have an uncluttered picture of Christ's love for us in a world that clouds our vision of what Christmas is all about. What a gift to be given a new sense of perspective. One we would not have unless this had happened to us. Thank God for how he working this crisis for the good of our family...and others. Have a merry, merry Christmas. Laugh, dance, sing, and hug...just because you can.

And eat a lot of chocolate.

Chocolate

Dad was a little bit sleepier today, still dozing on and off. Sometimes his mouthings are understandable, while other times we really struggle to get what he is saying. He will go from saying "I'm hot" or "I'm thirsty" to things like "Let's go home. I have a lot to do." So sometimes they make sense, but a lot of the time they don't. Much like yesterday. At times he seems to see us and understand, and sometimes he looks right through us. Honestly, I have complete peace about it, probably because enough people have said "this is all normal behavior". The truth is we won't really see what he can do for weeks, even months to come. Doctors won't be doing any real assessments or sensation tests for some time, because he needs to be more alert to get accurate results. Patience, patience, patience.

He continues to move his right arm, and it seems that very slowly is his gaining more control of it. Even when no one is in the room, he is trying to get his hand to reach his mouth, I think to prove to himself he can do it. It is a big improvement since before he would lift his right arm and it would flop down onto his chest. It is a good to see him gaining a little more control, even if it is in tiny increments. He is able to shake his head back and forth quite a bit, which amazes me with all it's been through the last two weeks.

The big moment of the day came when out of nowhere he opened his eyes and said "chocolate". We made him repeat it a few times because we thought it was an odd request. He definitely said "chocolate", so we let the nurse know. There was some Christmas fudge on the table, so the nurse put some on a spoon and fed it to him. As it melted in his mouth, his eyes were wide open and he got the dopiest grin on his face. It was the funniest thing to see. We laughed as he continued to lick his lips for the next ten minutes, enjoying every last taste of it. He's only eaten ice and sherbert so far, so I guess the man knows what he wants! Although we could have sworn he also said "hot tub" at one point. I don't know what that was about....

Another publish-worthy moment was when he saw Paige and Cole. He most definitely knows them when they enter the room. When Paige said to him "I love you Bapa" he said right back "I love you Paigey". It's those moments that get me through the day, because in those moments I really see dad as he was...madly in love with his grandkids. So we will see what tomorrow brings! Keep praying of course for those darn lungs to clear, one is clearing but I think it's the right one that is still in bad shape. They have started to wean him off of the respirator, but it is incredibly slow since they start with just five minutes at a time. He did pretty well with it this morning, but not so well later tonight. The nurse said it may take a few weeks to get him totally off of it. Patience, patience, patience.

Thank you God for peace. Thank you God for family. Thank you God for chocolate.

Do You Have A Car?

Dad was awake most of the day, but I think it's mom who's the most worn out. Dad seems either confused or in denial about what he is capable of. He keeps asking mom to take him home, or asking her to stand him up so he can see what he can do. She tells him that he has a respirator and IV's that are keeping him alive, and that he needs to rest. He then nods as if he understands, but then will soon ask the same questions. She tells him that he will learn to move and walk (hopefully) but for now he needs to heal. He'll ask her "Do you have a car?", she says yes, and then he'll say "Let's get out of here." It's hard to know what this all means, but we are trying hard to remember that until he's out of the ICU, he won't necessarily be himself. Mom says right now he seems to be acting very childlike, always wanting to hold her hand. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to want so badly to move, and not being able to. Right now he only has movement in his right arm. Only time will tell what he can do, but for all of us, it will be a very slow process. Pray for dad, that he deals with his limitations and continues to heal so he can leave the ICU. Although it's frustrating to see him confused, we have to remember where we were just two days ago. The progress is minute in some ways, but huge in others. Continue to pray for his progress, and praise God for so much that has changed....now he can communicate! What an improvement.

I ask that you especially pray for mom tonight. She is just plain worn out, physically and emotionally. It has been two weeks since the accident, and I think we all feel like it has been two months. Pray for strength and peace and endurance for this marathon we are running. It takes a toll on all of us, but mom especially. I will be at the hospital much of the day tomorrow, so hopefully she will take some time away.

As I think about what our Friday was like two weeks ago, I thank God that dad is where he is. I thank God that dad is here at all. God knows exactly what He's doing, and I rest in the knowledge that none of this is surprising to Him. Not even dad's delusions and denial. I smile as I think of dad right now, probably begging some nurse to get her car so they can escape. Oh, Pops....get some rest. You will need it.

Sherbert

Dad is more alert today than he's ever been. Which means he's also a little more frustrated than he's ever been. He can't speak with the trach but he can mouth words to communicate. It took mom 10 minutes to try to figure out he was asking for sherbert this morning. She kept saying "shoe butt?", honey what do you mean "shoe butt"? She thought maybe he wanted to kick her. But finally she guessed "sherbert" and he nodded. It will take some practice to get used to reading lips. He seems to really love sherbert, God love him. Mom put the phone to his ear so I could say hi. Of course he's not able to reply, but I could hear the gurgling of his trach as he tried to say "I love you" back to me. Very precious. A little gross, but definitely precious. Pray today that he deals well with all the frustration. Mom told him he has a right to get angry, he needs to deal with what has happened. This morning, he told mom he wanted to try and walk. Pray that he has patience, along with the rest of us!

Praise be to God for his slow healing of dad, and praise Him for continued baby steps. I have never felt God's love more than I have the last two weeks, mostly through the kindness of the family and friends that have surrounded us. We thank God daily for how He loves us.

I'll update again tonight, but probably not until about 10pm.

Late Thursday Night

My apologies for my delinquent posting today....I finally got home after a full day of non dad-related things. Unfortunately, real life has to continue sometime. As much as we would all love to be at dad's side constantly...it just can't be. But know that no news is good news, or at least news that he is holding steady. Mom reported that dad is about the same as yesterday, but he seemed a little more aggitated. Mom thinks maybe he is becoming a little more aware of his condition, it's hard to tell. He slept a lot today, as he was pretty wiped out from being awake most of yesterday. She did say that when she left him tonight, she told him goodnight and he gave her a little smile and went to sleep. A comforting picture. I promise to be on top of things tomorrow...even if I have to bring the laptop everywhere I go. Keep praying for his pneumonia to disappear...we've got to get those lungs clear! God bless.

More Smoochin'....Ewww.

Dad has had a good day so far...just got an update from mom and she sounds very encouraged. She sees a little more of "dad" today than yesterday. Apparently, he's been eating a ton of ice and loving it...it must feel so good on an injured throat that's been dry for 12 days. He's had a few more smiles, and even some more "kisses" for mom...whoa...slow down big fella. A good family friend was in to see mom, and he talked to dad for a little bit. He leaned over dad and said "Bohr, you're doing great, your wife and kids are doing great...they're just great." Dad then mouthed the words "thank you"! It was enough of a surprise to bring his friend to tears, and I love that his first mouthing was a 'thank you'. I guess I assumed that his first communication would be aimed towards mom's bad singing or let's admit it...sometimes bad breath. His tracheotomy seems to have brought him a little more calmness, and a little less anxiety. Mom described him well when she said he's kind of like a drunk 12 year old. A pretty good description. Thank God for a great day of baby steps. Thank God for His perfect timing.

I have been telling mom for awhile that she should write a post herself, but her fear of the internet and her belief that "it's just a fad and it will go away" seems to scare her off. It turns out that late the other night while she was at the hospital, she wrote a letter to be put on the blog. If you know mom at all, you know that if she is given the opportunity to speak, you can bet your sweet buns she'll take it...every time. So here is a post from mom (Jeannie):

"I am writing to all of you to thank you for all of your kindness and most importantly, your prayers. To those of you who have been left "wondering" about some of what you have read on this blog...please be assured, it is no accident. It is your Heavenly Father calling out to you-telling you how very real He is-that He wants you to acknowledge and know how much He loves you. Whatever 'stuff' you think has blocked your path to Him..and He knows it all...acknowledge it and then let it go. He forgives you...all He wants is for you to believe that He loves you with an unconditional love-a love that surpasses our comprehension-a love that involves a plan for your life. This all may seem very heavy for many of you, but I write it because I know that Pat would want me to.

In all of this so called "tragedy", I count it a privilege that my Heavenly Father has allowed our family and friends to share their faith on a "world wide" blog...an opportunity few are given. I am humbled. I know, without a doubt, that everything in my life that I would consider "bad" has turned out to be a blessing...that is His promise. In time, I see His perfect plan in my life-He has never failed me. I may not understand, but I live with the assurance that I will...in time. Yes, I have doubted, wishing this had happened to me-I'm usually immobile anyway. I don't roller-blade around town with the dog whenever the weather permits, I don't snowboard with the kids, I don't drive around during a snowstorm with the grandchildren in their car seats plowing people's driveways 'just for the fun of it'. And I have moments, usually when my mind and body are tired and weak, that I say "Why not me, Lord? Why not me?" And then He speaks to me through our daughter whose faith amazes me, whose faith has grown because of some so-called "bad" stuff she's had to deal with these past couple of years...and she says, simply, "Mom, if God had wanted it to be you, it would have been you." So simple, so true, so reassuring. God has prepared her and myself and P.J. and Mike for this time. I know, without a doubt, that the "stirring" I felt to pray with Pat the morning of his accident was heaven sent. My Heavenly Father speaking to me through the Holy Spirit...it's happened before...it will happen again. I had no idea what lay ahead that day, but God did and He knows that every time I think about my stirring and that prayer with Pat, I am humbled and assured of His love for us...that He loves us and will guide us both in the days ahead.

Do I cry? Of course I cry. Usually when I am tired. But it is an emotion, just an emotion, not a fact...God gave me tear ducts, He knows each tear I shed. Faith is not built on emotion, it's built on fact. The fact that God is real, alive, and with me always. A committed relationship is not based on feelings, it's based on fact. I've always told the kids, "If I left you father every time I didn't 'feel' in love with him, it would have been a thousand times!" And so it is in a committed relationship with Christ. Not feelings, but fact. The fact that He is all-knowing, all-powerful, almighty, and so very alive and real. As I send you all this Christmas blessing, please ask yourself, "What have I done with this God-do I in fact believe? Am I searching? Is He real?" Remember, it's no accident you are being touched by the words you read on this blog. You've done nothing, absolutely nothing in this life that keeps Him from loving you. All He wants is for you to believe...in Him...and trust in His plan for your life...to get the 'stuff' in your life out of the way and run into His loving arms. The bible is His love letter to all of us, though out of it's living words it doesn't suggest we try to figure things out-it simply keeps saying "Trust me. Trust me. Trust me."

I do trust, and believe it or not, I feel so very blessed in the midst of all this to have a new perspective on this life. To appreciate the smallest of things...warm water running over my hands, a sunny day in a usually cloudy month, and a never-ending assurance of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me...and Pat. I am changed forever-never wanting to go back-for I am enjoying the sound of our grandchildren's laughter like never before. I see the faith of our children put into action that is so pleasing to God...and I am realizing that so many of our friends and family are "wondering" and I am so very thankful as I remember what it was like to "wonder". I know it was the beginning of my faith walk. Some of us have been believers longer than others-but it is not a contest. It is a very personal heart search-a very personal relationship between you and God...He speaks to us through people and situations He puts into our lives. We are all so very different, each with very unique personalities...He made us that way. And for that reason, we all hear Him differently...intimately...within our hearts. Just me and Thee...

No matter what happens, I know Pat is heaven bound. God decided when we would enter this world, and there is great peace in knowing He has already decided when we will leave it. My prayer for all of you is that you know you are heaven bound by believing that Christ sent His son Jesus to die for each of us. I know this is all somewhat overwhelming, but remember, if Christ were small enough for us to understand, He wouldn't be big enough for us worship. He simply says, "Trust me"...and I do.

A Smooch

Tracheotomy...what a beautiful word. We got home late tonight from being with dad. He certainly looks better...it's great to see that face with no tubes! The only surprise is that they shaved his mustache off...the audacity! He started growing that mustache the week that I was born, so it's been 29 years. A bit strange to see him without it...the nurses were planning to give him a shave tonight, so I made them pinky swear they would never touch the stache again. It's just not right.

As far as his abilities right now, he is basically the same as the past few days. He is still on some sedation and lots of pain meds. There are times when he will look at mom and answer a simple question, but there are more times that he seems to either not comprehend, or he is too sedated to even know what's going on. It seems that when we start to get down about his progress or that he doesn't seem aware of his surroundings, God brings us a nurse that assures us this is all "normal", and that until he is out of intensive care, we won't really get a good picture of his abilities, mental or otherwise. As far as the tracheotomy, it is definitely more comfortable for him, but it still causes him to feel as if he is choking. He still has pneumonia which is producing a lot of phlegm build up in his throat, which makes him very uncomfortable. So we continue to wait and pray. We offered him an ice chip tonight, and he ate it right away. Seems simple enough, but to see him perform a new task was awesome. He went ahead and ate six more, God love him.

God has blessed us with a few sweet moments that give us a tiny glimpse that dad is in there somewhere. Tonight as mom was trying to get him to respond, she asked him for a kiss. As she leaned into his face, he seemed to use every ounce of his energy to pucker his lips ever so slightly. Now, I'm definitely not a big fan of watching my parents make out or anything, but it was the sweetest thing I've seen all week. We thank God for those tiny moments because they are what get us through long days of seeing no progress. So we hold on to a smile here, a smooch there, and we wait on God. He is all powerful and all mighty, and he knows exactly what tomorrow brings.

Tuesday 1:00 PM

Dad is in surgery as we speak...yahoo! He is having a tracheotomy and also a feeding tube inserted directly into his stomach. This allows for his mouth to be completely free of tubes...something we have really been praying for. Praise God for getting Pops in today! We pray that this will ease his anxiety and discomfort. We'll send an update on the surgery and his progress later tonight. Thank God for the sunshine today!

Just Kidding

Well, no tracheotomy today. I know, we're pretty bummed out too. It was a long day of waiting for mom, she spent the day assuring him his tubes were coming out soon. There were a number of other emergency surgeries that took priority over him, so Pops has to wait another day. Our ability to wait and lean on God grows certainly grows stronger every day. Dad was on most of his own oxygen today and last night, which is great. Baby steps. He continues to be in and out, sometimes he seems to recognize people and understand commands, sometimes not. At one point, P.J. looked him in the eye and asked, "Do you know that I love you?" He ever so slightly nodded his head yes. Before mom came home, she begged the nurse to take out his bite blocker to give him a tiny bit of relief. She did and mom told him that if he tried to bite his tubes, the bite blocker would go back in. He didn't bite at them, so it was a good sign that he understood what she had said. Baby steps. So we continue to pray for patience as we do some more waiting, and we pray for a tracheotomy tomorrow. May the Holy Spirit surround our Pops tonight, and give him some good, peaceful, comfortable sleep.

Happy Birthday, Pops

Well, another uneventful day. Dad is relatively the same as yesterday, except that now's he 56 years old, not 55. No tracheomoty today, but he is scheduled for sometime tomorrow. Let's pray it really happens...and early in the day!!

Since there's not much to report, I've got to share this amazing story. The day before dad's accident, mom was working on getting the Christmas card put together. She said as she went to bed that night, she felt a stirring to pray with dad the next morning about our Christmas letter. By divine design, she was up very early the next morning as dad was getting ready for work. Usually dad just says a prayer with her while she snores in bed (imagine that). But that morning she was awake and she stopped dad as he hurried out the door. She said, "Bohr, I think we just need to pray right now that God is glorified through our Christmas card." She said they prayed quickly, just a few lines asking God to shine through our family this Christmas. It was less than 2 hours later that mom received the phone call that would change our lives forever.

Well, talk about answered prayer. This past week we have often thought of that prayer that was prayed last Friday morning. It's amazing to watch how God works. Our hope is that God is being glorified through all that has happened, because we know how powerless we really are. It's because of God that we are here and that dad is still here with us. It's only because of His grace that we are still standing. It's only because of His word that we have any joy at all. May God always be glorified through our family, through this blog, and through our dad.

So here is the original Christmas letter as it was supposed to be sent. Since every person on our Christmas card list is most likely reading this (and thank God for that...) I thought I would save my mom the time and energy of actually sending it...she has other things to think about.

Bohrman's Year of Change - 2006

Life Change, Name Change, Address Change...

Our baby, Patrick John Jr. (P.J.) and Kersta Noel Johnson were married on October 15th in Tucson, Arizona. What a joy to have our whole gang together and what a special blessing we have in our new daughter-in-law! She is as sweet as she is beautiful! The new Mr. and Mrs. Patrick J. Bohrman call Denver, Colorado home.

Heart Change, Life Change, Never Changing...

Daughter Amy and son-in-law Chris continue their ministry with teenagers through Young Life in Palatine, Illinois. Their very busy life as leaders, helping kids turn their hearts to Christ, and their never-changing faith is a blessing to us all. They are the stablizing factor in our family-keeping us focused on what really matters. Throughout all of our little family "dramas", they are the glue that helps hold us all together...thank you God, for Chris and Amy.

Small Change, Spare Change, Diaper Change...

Oldest son Mike (we now call him "captain") and daughter-in-law Becky keep the numbers of our family "ever-changing"...baby number three is due in February and will join Cole Patrick (4) and Paige Hastings (2). Our little ring-bearer and flower girl strutted their stuff in Tucson...and managed to stay clean!

Change of Location, Lane Change, Address change, Change of Pace, Change of Life...

After almost six years, we sold our old sailboat in Hawaii and bought a little place...in the desert! Yep, we're land lubbers...with 900 square feet of living space and a two and a half car garage...the garage is actually larger than the condo! It's in East Mesa, Arizona, where I've made three road trips transporting furnishings from here to there. We've decided to "lighten our load"...sell our house here in Oconomowoc...and move a couple of blocks away...into Mike and Becky's house! No kidding-we'll be like the Waltons! A new addition to their home provides "Bapa" and "Tutu" with their own space and plenty of room for all to enjoy. We're all looking forward to being a three generation household! And, at this point, I'll bet you're all looking forward to next year's Christmas letter!

We hope that during this holiday season, you'll experience God's never-changing and never-ending love for you...in an ever-changing world.

God bless you all,
Pat and Jean

It turns out our own little world did some serious changing this past week. We have had a change of perspective, a change of priority, a change of plans. And we have experienced God's never-changing and never-ending love in ways we couldn't have imagined. God prepared us for this in so many ways...and when I think of mom and dad's prayer that Friday morning, it only makes me more absolutely certain that God is in control.

I probably won't post again until after the tracheotomy tomorrow. I can't promise when that will be, but keep praying that it all goes well. We'll be in touch....look for some new pictures tomorrow!

Saturday Night

Not much new to report. We all saw dad for awhile today, he seemed about the same as yesterday. They are constantly adjusting his pain meds, trying new sedatives, reducing this, removing that. He is in a sort of semi-conscience state, drifting in and out. He will open his eyes, look at us, and sometimes give us a tiny smile. Other times he looks at us and just stares. It's still very obvious that he hates the tubes and neck brace, he thrashes his head from side to side and tries to chew his tubes. We realize most of this is just his body reacting to the foreign object being forced down his throat, but it is so hard to watch helpless knowing the dad we love is in such discomfort. His levels are still holding, and we continue to pray, pray, pray that he gets a trach soon. Tomorrow is his birthday, so we are hoping that a tracheotomy will be his big birthday present. If not, we wait for God's timing. I definitely have my opinions on when things should be happening, but God has the master timetable for dad's recovery. We trust in His perfect wisdom and timing.

Mom is much more comfortable now as they brought in a recliner to dad's ICU room. She is able to be right next to him, which she loves because even if she catches a nap, she can just open her eyes and he's right there. She says it's payback for all the times dad dozed off in the recliner while she was in labor with us three kids.

Our family had planned long ago to be celebrating Christmas this weekend, since P.J. and Kersta will be in Arizona for the holidays. We shared a good dinner, opened some presents, enjoyed the excitement of the little ones. Of course there was an unspoken sadness that dad was not sharing it all with us. I know we would trade the presents, the carols, the tree, all of it, just to have Pops here. But I know that's all part of what God is teaching us through this. I thank Him for the chance to see just how meaningless so much of Christmas is. I thank Him for giving us a clearer picture of His love. I thank Him for using our dad in a hospital bed to make us better understand the gift of a babe in a manger.

Saturday Morning

The "super smart doctor guy" was in this morning to see dad. We learn a little more about him each time, buy it's funny how we keep forgetting to ask his name. He's kind of like superman. His goal in the next three days is for dad to have a tracheotomy. This will further assist him with his oxygen but will free his mouth from the obnoxious respirator tubes. Even if dad can't talk with the trach, we know it will so ease his discomfort. So our main prayer request for the next few days is that he gets the tracheotomy, and that it's bye-bye respirator. We may see little or no progress for the next few days, but we continue to pray for signs that dad is still there. A nurse was questioning him about his birthday earlier. She asked if it was in July, and he shook his head. She asked if it was in September, and he shook his head. She asked about December, and he nodded yes. Good little signs that dad has some memory.

We may go in today at different times for just a little while, but we may need to give him rest. The nurses said he is pretty worn out from yesterday, it seemed to drain him to see all his kids. God love him. He's our little Italian emotional train wreck. So we continue to ask for no visitors, we have to love him enough to let him heal. There will be lots of time in the months to come that he will really need lots of visitors and interaction, so don't worry, your time will come! We promise. Our family can't thank you enough for all the comments and encouragement. Know that we check it daily (numerous times!) and it feeds our souls to read the verses and prayers that you are sending out. To God be the glory, great things He has done....and will continue to do.

A Few Smiles Later...

Well, everyone agrees it was so good to see dad a little more alert today. They said he was a little groggier later this afternoon. I have to imagine he wears himself out with all the arm tugging and the facial exercises. Mike and P.J. shared a similar magical moment that I did, with dad looking them right in the eyes and giving a little smile. They both agree that there's no doubt that he knows exactly who we are. Dad was especially happy to see P.J.'s wife Kersta, for some reason she got a whole lot of smiling, which is sweet cause she is the newest member of our family. She and P.J. have only been married about two months, so dad seems to really be putting on the charm for her. She was singing a little to him, so his smiling could just be the pure joy of finally hearing someone other than mom. (Mom would admit that Kersta is a much better singer.) Unfortunately, Mike's wife Becky was unable to see dad, as she is more than 7 months pregnant and her belly does not allow her to bend over the bed to see his face! So dad will have to settle for just hearing her voice until we can get some sort of step stool in there. We all had a good laugh about that. My husband Chris had to return to Chicago last night, but hopefully dad will have some smiles for him tomorrow.

Mom always calls the hospital to check on him before she goes to bed, and they said he was holding steady. They sat him up in a chair for awhile and his heart rate and oxygen were really good. Earlier this week when they tried to sit him up, his heart rate couldn't handle it, so it's postitive news that his body is healing. His pneumonia is better, his lungs are slowing clearing. We thank God for the tiny baby steps of encouragement He is giving us. There is word that his respirator may come out in the next few days, and there will be HUGE celebration when that happens. And by huge, I mean REALLY HUGE. We continue to pray that his throat is healing, and that simple functions such as swallowing will be in tact.

Our smiles from dad will keep us going for many days, even if that is all the progress we see for awhile. Pray for the family, as we all seem to be emotionally drained, and a wee bit stressed out. We continue to give thanks to God for his mercy and grace, for giving us each a moment with dad today that won't be forgotten.

A Smile

I went in to see dad this morning. He is a little more alert than he was yesterday. Baby steps. I walked right up to his bed and he looked me right in the eyes. I stared into them for awhile and then whispered, "Do you know who I am?". Without taking his eyes off me, he nodded his head yes. What an amazing moment. I know I will never forget it as long as I live. I thank God for the miracle of being able to stare into his eyes and know with all my heart that he knows who I am. Mom and I went for a walk, and when we came back, we both leaned over his bed and looked at him. He looked at mom, then looked to me, and then he smiled. Even with all the tubes and the bite blocker, we could see his little grey moustache move and we knew he smiled. It was amazing. He is still very groggy, and he kind of fades in and out, but he definitely is more awake than yesterday. He of course hates the tubes and is almost constantly biting at them. We don't know exactly when he'll be off the respirator, but they are very slowly reducing the amount of oxygen he is getting from the respirator which is good news. Mike and Becky went to the hospital after I got home, and P.J. and Kersta should be there soon. I can't wait to hear their report and how their time went with dad. We'll update again later. I thank God for seeing a smile. Amazing. Keep praying.....

Thursday Night

Let's be honest. It was a very blah day for us. Dad really didn't change much today, he is still sedated. Once in awhile he will move his right arm, or open his mouth in what seems to be discomfort. They just don't want to move too fast until they know his heart can handle it. Yesterday ended with such excitement and positivity, so today was definitely a let down. We need to realize that this will be a much slower process than we expected. There's no saying how long it will take his body to "wake-up", or when he will be alert enough to even know what's going on. It seems that all we do now is wait, and wait, and then wait some more. Because we don't know how long it will take, we decided in order to stay healthy we all need to be home and get some rest. He is being well taken care of and we trust that God will continue to heal his body. We're all going to learn a lot about patience in the weeks to come, that's for sure.

I realize day by day that this goes so far beyond just dad being sick. Through dad's tragedy, God is reaching a lot of people. After a day like today, it's easy to question why it has to be our dad, our Bapa. But then I remember that God doesn't need to read this blog to get updates. He wrote dad's story a long time ago. He knows exactly what day in the future we'll be writing a post titled "Dad Spoke Today!", or "Dad Sat Up Today!", or "Dad Pimped Out His Wheelchair and Now it Goes 45MPH!" Keep praying, and we'll keep waiting. There will be more good days, and there will be more blah days, and God is good through all of them. Good night.

Thursday Morning Update

Just a quick update so people know what to be praying about. As the sedation started to wear off this morning, dad's heart rate went up, so they continued with more sedation. The doctors want to move really slowly with this whole process, so we need to realize we probably won't be seeing a lot of progress today. We need to remember what his body has been through this week, two heart failures, the spinal cord injury, two serious surgeries, pneumonia (which he still has), fever, and waning oxygen levels. The prayers we posted last night are all very relevant, but we are realizing the a big prayer today is that his mind is still what it was before the accident. Since his heart stopped Saturday night, we have not been able to see him awake or alert, so we really don't know what affect it had on his brain. Our God is big and strong and mighty, so let's pray today that God gives us a sign that the dad we all know and love is still there. Our family will be starting to be at the hospital in shifts, so someone is always there as he slowly awakens. God knows our dad better than we do, and He knows what both he and our family can handle. We trust in that promise. Thanks for praying.

Big Day Tomorrow

What a good day it's been. To know dad has his surgeries behind him and that we can continue moving forward from here is such a relief for all of us. We know that a long road lies ahead, but for the past few days, we weren't sure there would be any road at all. We know that last night his pneumonia could have worsened, his fever could have continued to rise. But we serve a God that apparently has more for dad to do here on earth. My favorite memory of the day was as the surgeons walked away and the family immediately circled together to give thanks to God for bringing dad through it. We have learned a lot about each other the last 6 days, and I have never been more proud of all of them.

Tomorrow will be a big day for dad, and probably an incredibly hard one but in a much different way. Dad has been on paralytics and heavy sedation for the last 3 days, and as morning comes those drugs will begin wearing off. We will wait in excited anticipation for the opening of eyes, the removal of the breathing tube, the untethering of the arm, and finally hearing his voice again. But with these things will come awearness of his injury, awearness of his limitations, awearness of the fact that we really don't know what limbs will work again. Mom will be going in early, and has warned the nurses to not let him wake up without her by his side. We know that in the next few days will come some anger, and we can guarantee that Pops will hate the rehab. So tomorrow we'll be praying for calmness in his spirit, that as he comprehends what has happened to him this past week, let's pray he takes it well. He body still has a lot of healing to do, his lungs still need to be clearer. Pray for mom to be strong as she tells him exactly what has happened. All of us kids are dying to see him tomorrow, but pray that we will have patience. Our very Italian, very emotional dad gets so worked up when he sees us that it may not be good for his body. We know it's because he loves us so much, but pray that if tomorrow isn't good timing, we will love him enough to let him rest one more day.

We go to bed tonight having cleared a huge hurdle, but have hundreds more lined up for us in the days, weeks, and months to come. We give praise and thanks to our Father in Heaven for holding up our dad and our family in His mighty hands. And we thank the precious families that have kept our bellies full of amazing food, our house full of beautiful flowers, and our spirits full of hope because of all of your encouraging words. I know dad would be so happy to know his family is being taken care of.

And as for mom's ongoing, ridiculously loud snoring, we can rest knowing that dad is in the hospital sleeping peacefully for the first time in about 35 years. Enjoy it while it lasts, Pops!

A Successful Surgery!

We prayed. You prayed. We all prayed. God heard us! The surgeon came out at about 12:45pm and said it was a success! They were able to fuse the bones, repair the ligaments, and further stabilize his spine. We went in to see him shortly after and he looks great. Our family can't thank you enough for all the prayers. We believe that it's because of the people across the whole country that are lifting dad up in prayer that his fever is lower (down to 100.6!) and he made it through this serious surgery. He will be sedated for the rest of the day, and tomorrow once he comes out of sedation the doctors will be assessing his condition further. We are all just feeling so thankful right now. The sun even came out when the surgery ended. God is so good! When we walked into his room and saw him resting, we all took a huge sigh of relief. Mike broke the silence by yelling out, "HE"S BACK, BABY!!!!"

Surgery Update

Well, the "super smart doctor guy" is missing in action. He was supposed to assess dad this morning but the nurses are assuming there was an emergency that he needed to attend to. Because dad is only a trauma patient, any other emergency that was flown in last night would be in surgery before him. As soon as he comes to assess dad, we'll know if he'll be in surgery today. Praise the Lord for last night!! Dad's fever is down to 101.4 and his oxygen level has remained at 95%. God is so good...the nurses say he couldn't have had a better night!

Oh my goodness....the doctor has been found! Mom literally just called my cell and dad is going to be transported to surgery in the next few minutes. The surgeons are happy with his progress since yesterday so it's really happening. Mom got to pray with the anesthesialogist just now and dad is covered with prayer. Pray, pray, pray!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord, we give you our dad, we trust in your will for his life. We lay him at your feet and know that whatever the outcome is to you be the glory. Wow my heart is really pounding now....God is so good. Praise be to God. OK I am leaving now.

To Dad From Mike - 12/13/06 - 3:00AM

Dad-
It is the night before your potential second surgery. I could not sleep so I went to the hospital just to be with you. You slept and I watched. You slept and I held you. You slept and I feared. You slept and I questioned. You slept and I cried. You slept and I prayed. You slept and I strengthened. You slept and I slept. You slept and I woke. You slept and I admired. You slept and I reminisced. You slept and I smiled. You slept and I stood. You slept and I kissed you. You loved and I loved. It was perfect. I pray that you felt it. Sleep well and God Speed. I love you.
-Gonzo

"Time takes its toll on us. It tries its best just to steal our love. And we bend and we break but we don't give up. Time takes its toll on us."
-Bebo Norman

"Bend and break but don't give up Pops."
-Your first born son

Dad's fever hovered between 102.4 and102.7 throughout the day. The doctors also confirmed that he does have pneumonia. These are obvious setbacks for him, but again they tell us this is to be expected with his injury. But it is becoming more and more vital that he have his second spinal surgery because without it he can't start rehab. The more his body lays in the same position the worse off it is for his recovery. They really need to get him moving which will be helping his whole body get better, including lungs. His oxygen is still not great, so we really need to keep praying for the fever to go down and that the pneumonia does not worsen. There is a doctor (we can't remember his name) but he is the head honcho there and seems to be known as "the brilliant one". We call him the "super smart doctor guy". He will be assessing dad tomorrow morning at 6:30am, and will be making the call as to whether or not he will be in surgery at 7:45am. Again, time is vital so our huge prayer is that his fever goes down tonight. We talked with the surgeons this afternoon (they are awesome) and they said they are really not worried about the actual procedure, they are worried about the anesthesia and if his body is healthy enough to take it. Although it will be risky and incredibly scary, he has to have it as soon as possible. We pray it happens tomorrow. He was again very heavily sedated all day, very peaceful. It has become mom's routine to sing to him every once and awhile, and the song is always "I Love You Lord". She said tonight that it's a win-win situation because it either soothes the heck out of him or it will annoy him so much that he'll soon jump right out of bed and start walking. I'll take either option.

There have been some sweet moments over that past few days and I want to include them because if I don't I'm afraid they'll be forgotten. And I want dad to be able to read this someday. If you know dad, you know that two of his very favorite things are his two grandkids, Cole and Paige. They are four and two, and they love Bapa like crazy. The other night as we watched the news footage of dad being airlifted to the hospital, Cole sat up stunned and said "Wait. Bapa got to ride in a helicopter....and he did NOT take me or Paige?" The nerve!

Another sweet moment came the other night as I typed the first post. Cole ran in and jumped on my lap. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was writing a letter to all the people that love Bapa. I asked him what I should write and he said, "Tell them that Bapa is sooooooo nice, but he is soooooo sick and he is sleepin' in the hospital." I asked if there was anything else and he said, "Tell them to pray for Bapa." Enough said.

Paige mostly just says, "Bapa's got owies." Mike and Becky did say that the night dad had his heart failure, Paige was up in the middle of the night upset. Not unusual for Paige, but they said for the first time ever she was calling for Bapa, not mom or dad. Even though she is somewhat oblivious, she knows her Bapa is not well. We agreed it's theraputic to be around the grandkids since they remind us of what a great Bapa he really is.

Let it be another quiet night. Pray he is healthy tomorrow morning. Pray for strength for mom. We have unquestionable peace that God is in control. This trauma will be used to His glory. No doubt in our minds.

Surgery Postponed

Just talked to mom and the doctors have decided to wait on the surgery. Dad has a slight fever and they want to make sure he is not starting to get sick. Mom seems relieved to be able to let him rest for another day, he is still heavily sedated. Pray that his fever goes down and that his lungs improve. There is no date set as of now to do the surgery, they will just be waiting to see how his fever plays out. By the way, whoever prayed last night that mom would get good sleep did a fabulous job. As I (Amy) took dad's spot in their bed last night and tried to fall asleep, she suddenly turned towards me and starting snoring louder than I ever thought a human could snore. I laughed out loud as I thanked God for that little answered prayer. Who knew such obnoxious snoring could sound so beautiful? So mom got some good rest. Continue to pray for his health today. The nurses said this is all pretty common with his injury, but we really don't want him getting sick, his body just can't handle it. We'll let you know how today goes. Keep dad lifted up in prayer! God is good....ALL THE TIME.

Just a reminder...no visitors please...we promise to let you know when it will be helpful to come to the hospital. Thank you so much for caring for our family! Lots of love.

Monday

Dad had another sleepy day...heavily sedated, not much action. He was strong this morning with his oxygen but had some troubles later in the day and his levels dropped. Mom said only once did he barely open his eyes, and we are seeing no movement at all except for the right arm. They untied his arm for a short time today, but he again was trying to get his tubes out so they re-tethered him. It's so frustrating for mom to see because the one thing the poor guy can move is once again immovable. The nurses assure us that if he gets through this, he won't remember anything from his ICU stay, which calms us because it hurts to see him frustrated and in pain. At this point, his second spinal surgery will be tomorrow at 1:30pm. Much prayer is needed for this because his body is fragile and he will need to be on his stomach. The doctors moved him to a sitting position for an hour today, but his blood pressure and oxygen intake weren't great so they laid him back down. It needs to be said that he is still very critical...a few close friends who were able to see him today said they were shocked to see what condition he is in. Because of this we feel we should start including some pictures of him in the hospital so people can see how limited he is right now. We'll get some pictures on the blog sometime tomorrow. The boys had a good day at Genesis, both agreed it was the right thing to be there working all day. We shared some laughter as we were back together at the house late tonight, which is good for all of us. Dad leaves a huge hole when we are gathered together for a meal, but we have peace that God is working this for the good of our family. We know he is in the palm of God's hand, and we pray tonight that dad has some great conversations with Jesus. Pray for another uneventful night and that mom can get some quality sleep. And pray tomorrow for his afternoon surgery, it will be a rough couple of hours waiting for the results. Thanks again for loving our family and our Pops.

A Peaceful Night...Praise the Lord

Mom likes to go in early to the hospital...I think she likes to be with dad as the sun rises. Thankfully the night was uneventful. Mom said his oxygen level was 100% when she walked in the room...an answer to prayers that his lungs seem to be getting stronger. Though things are still critical, he is stable at this time. We need continued prayer that today he remains stable and his lungs continue healing. Also pray for the boys (Mike and P.J.) as they went to Genesis today to help Rudy start the shop running again. They feel it's what dad would want. Pray that it is a healing day for them there. Mike commented yesterday that the hardest part of being at the machine shop is that it just "smells like dad". If you've been to Genesis, you know that smell! Thanks for all the love and prayers....

The Accident

On Friday morning, December 8th, about 8:00am, dad was at work at Genesis when an employee called him over to check a machine. He was wearing a fleece coat that he usually doesn't wear at the shop. As he was leaning in take a look, the zipper of his jacket got caught on the drill and it immediately sucked him into the machine. The drill was still spinning and wrapped his jacket around his neck and pinned him against it. A few employees cut him free from the machine, but he had no pulse and was not breathing. An employee (we love you Rudy) performed mouth to mouth and his heart began to beat again. By that time the paramedics were there and dad was taken by Flight for Life to Froedtert. They found that there was an imcomplete spinal cord injury between the 5th and 6th vertebrae. Although the vertebrae had been fractured and pulled apart, the spinal cord was damaged but not severed. There was also a large amount of tissue damage in his neck where the jacket had strangled him. He underwent a long surgery during which they repaired the vertebrae, and much of the damaged tissue. The surgeon was very positive about the procedure, although his prognosis was very much unknown. About two hours post surgery, dad was able to wiggle his toes and gave a weak thumbs up. This was excellent news. Friday ended with a positive attitude and high hopes that dad was on his way to recovery.

Saturday was a good day. Dad was strong enough to breath on his own so the breathing tube was removed mid morning. He was able to lift his right arm at the elbow and now able to speak. His first words to mom were "will I walk?", mom responded with a "yes". As he realized his condition, he became quite aggitated and restless, wanting to move, asking when we could go home, obviously groggy and confused from all the meds. He drifted in and out of sleep most the day, and we left him alone. It seemed that him hearing our voices made him more aggitated, as he was angry he couldn't talk to us or communicate. We left him Saturday night to get some rest.

It turned out to be a rough night for Pops. About 9pm, mom got a call from the hospital saying that dad was having heart trouble. His heart had failed and he lost a pulse. They resuscitated him quickly but had to reinsert his breathing tube as he was unable to get adequate oxygen on his own. The doctors said that heart failure is common with spinal cord injuries and it did not necessarily have anything to do with his prior heart history. He was soon back in stable condition, but the night continued to be rough as his oxygen levels fell. They realized there may have been some injury to his lungs that they couldn't see on x-ray. They continued to monitor his oxygen levels closely. They had to tether his right arm to the bed because the old stinker kept trying to pull his tubes out. (He is really not a fan of the tubes). It was difficult to see him in that postition, being even more restricted than he already feels, but it was good to know that he's got enough strength in his arm to take a whack at a nurse or two. He is feisty, but determined. That is why we love him...

He was more heavily sedated for the duration of Sunday. This allows him to relax and give his body peace and quiet. We spent most of the day in a nearby lounge, going in to see him once and awhile. There is something so soothing about seeing him sleeping peacefully, no fighting, no frustration, no pain...praying for his broken body to heal....praying that all will be calm tonight. If he remains stable for the next 24 hours, there is a surgery scheduled for Tuesday that will further repair his spine. This surgery will require him to lay on his stomach, which means he must prove to be stable enough to endure it. Our biggest prayer right now is that he remains stable and there is no regression in his condition so the surgery can happen as planned. Once this second surgery is complete, then rehab can begin....no surgery, no rehab. As we go to bed tonight, we pray the phone is quiet, that we get no surprises, and that in the morning when we see him he looks as peaceful and rested as when we left. Thanks for your continued prayers.