A Hint of Pops

The last two days have been slightly better. Mom swears she is seeing a little more of dad as we know him. They are getting a better handle on his meds and continue to adjust the doses...only time will tell how effective they will be. He even cracked a few jokes with his therapists...a huge encouragement considering how down he has seemed lately. To see him smile again...what a blessing.

Along with the laughs have also come some tears. Apparently he did a lot of crying yesterday...which is good in our opinion as it shows he's actually dealing with his situation. As he told mom, he really hasn't cried about it yet, so we agree that it's a great thing that he's showing some emotion over it.

Yesterday his therapist Angie was teaching him how to use a pen. He barely has any grip but he was able to make a few scribbles. Mom said he was pretty upset as he realized how limited he is...he could barely form any letters. But then he started laughing. Mom asked why and dad said he got a picture in his head of him sitting at the kitchen table with Cole and Paige, and them saying, "Bapa, you're not doing your letters right!"

A sweet picture to imagine, and even sweeter because it's dad that's doing the imagining. It's encouraging that he's starting to think about the future, beginning to understand that he can have a good life and enjoy being with the grandkids...in different ways.

We continue to pray for a good attitude and some great days of therapy. He still has at least a month to go in the hospital, so we pray there are big steps made in the weeks to come. Maybe more talking, maybe a positive swallow test, maybe even a cruise outside for a breath of fresh air...the first in three months. What a breath that will be....

Thank you God for letting us see a little of the dad, husband, and Bapa we love. Thanks for a smile, a laugh, and a hint of Pops.

A Shower and A Snowstorm

Dad would have loved this weekend....lots of snow....lots of plowing. He would have been out all day, plowing any untouched driveway he could find, just for the pure joy of it. He'd probably have the grandkids strapped in beside him, and they'd end their plow-a-palooza with a trip to the coffee shop. Days like today, I really, really miss dad. Blizzards just aren't the same without him.

Yesterday was a big day...he finally got a real shower. He sure looked good when I saw him, squeaky clean, well-dressed, and new shoes to top it off. He was pretty sleepy, we just hung out and watched a movie...he hasn't been wearing his talking valve as it creates more secretions and the doctors were worried he was silently aspirating the fluid into his lungs. So because he has to mouth words, he doesn't like to say much. His new meds also keep him pretty drowsy.

Pops had a rough night last night, barely any sleep, up with anxiety and respiratory problems...caught in the cycle of panic and shortness of breath and needing to be suctioned. It's frustrating for everyone involved. Because he got no sleep last night, he was exhausted today and slept a lot, thankfully, I guess. They really want to get him into a pattern of sleeping all night, and up all day, so our big prayer is that his nights get better. He is still very dependent on his anxiety meds, and can't seem to function well without them. We hope that more psych consults this week will get to the source of his panic.

It's hard right now. It's been awhile since I've seen "dad". I long for the days pre-ICU/pneumonia when he was talking and funny and quick and just "dad". Now he's mostly quiet, withdrawn, sullen, and just, not "dad". I want him out of this funk. I want him to hear him talk. I want to see him try. I want him to care about his life. I want my dad back.

Why this is happening, I don't know. How God is working in this, I can't see. How we'll get through this, I can't explain. But isn't that what faith is? Not knowing, not seeing, not understanding...but still believing.

God, I believe You are working. I believe You love us. I believe You have great things ahead for my dad. We choose to trust You. Please. Please. Please. Give dad rest tonight. Be his comfort. Be his peace. Help him to find You in his moments of panic.

And thank You for finding me in mine.

Friday Night

No news...all I heard was that dad was very sleepy today. Apparently he's adjusting to some new meds. I'm heading up to Wisconsin in the morning, so hopefully more of an update tomorrow. Just know that if a day is skipped here or there, no news is good news. God bless.

More "Ist's" to Add to the List

Mom left the hospital earlier this morning because she wasn't feeling well, so there's not much of an update today. She thought he looked better this morning and that he seemed to be a tiny bit calmer, so that's good. There have been a number of psychologists and psychiatrists in and out the last two days, so he's definitely getting some good brain picking. I hope and pray that they get him to open up about the accident, his fears, his anger, and his anxiety. As frustrating as it is, maybe all these psychologists are an answer to prayer...maybe they are exactly what he needs right now. Or maybe they are making him more anxious...good gravy I hope not....

Pray that mom feels better and that it's just a flu bug. (Although secretly I am a little thankful she got sick...it seems to be the only thing that forces her to take a day off.) But of course we pray she's better tomorrow. And as always, we lift up our Pops .

I've thought often of a picture that hangs in my parent's bedroom...a painting of a father kneeling beside his child's bed as he sleeps, praying fervently as a spiritual battle rages in the sky behind him. More than ever I feel this is a spiritual battle. It's so clear that the enemy does not want dad to recover..how it must anger him to think what a testimony to God's grace and power dad could be...how it enrages him to see minds opened and hearts awoken. He wants us to doubt. He wants us to run scared. Alas, we won't.

It's easy to doubt. Even easier to fear. But God is on our side in this. This battle really does belong to the Lord, and it's a guaranteed victory....we just have to trust. And believe. And pray.

More Anxiety

Another very anxious day for dad...a constant struggle to have peace and breath easy. Even the ever-patient nurses who really enjoy caring for him are wearing thin. Even if his oxygen levels are strong and all his levels are fine, dad feels as if he's not getting enough air and he begins to panic. He is constantly calling the nurses for help and asks for too much anxiety medication. He finally fell asleep later this afternoon, so we pray that he is able to relax and is not up all night with respiratory problems. I guess they are bringing a whole psychiatric team in to start to investigate what's going on, so that's promising. We certainly feel pretty helpless at this point...no amount of encouragement or assurance seems to calm him down. Just very anxious and needy all day long.

So we continue to pray. Only God can figure this out. Only God can get inside that thick head of his. So we give it over to Him...and we ask for healing in his head and heart. May God's angels surround his room tonight and give him much needed rest. Thanks for the prayers...

Praying for Hope, Thankful for Pee

The last few days have been pretty rough for Pops. Although he is off the respirator, he has been having some lung issues along with increased anxiety. Last night and this morning were very hard for him, he was having some respiratory problems so they took another chest x-ray today. There is still a lot of fluid in his lungs which is keeping him from breathing well, which then makes him anxious, which then makes his blood pressure rise, which then makes it difficult for him to get air in his lungs, which then keeps him from taking strong breaths, which then increases the anxiety....you can see how it cycles. The problem is they can't seem to determine where the cycle begins...which comes first?...the anxiety or the trouble breathing? Which causes which? So they plan to further investigate the source of his anxiety, which means more visits with his psychologist...trying to get him to dig deeper and open up more. He relies heavily on his anxiety medication, and asks for it several times a day....but they do not want to keep using that as a fix, they want to know what's really causing it. They are also trying some new blood pressure meds and watching his lungs very closely.

We (including his therapists) have all seen him withdraw a lot the past few days, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't scary and frustrating. Less eye contact, little or no smiling...certainly less joking around. Even with P.J. and Kersta here this past weekend he wasn't totally engaged. He works hard to rise to the occasion now and then, but for the most part seems depressed and apathetic. Doesn't do his exercises, doesn't really engage in therapy, and doesn't even do the simple task of changing the angle of his chair to prevent bedsores. We can't know what he feels, but it sure is frustrating to see him like this. Again, he needs to make the choice to work...it's really up to him. He needs to find the hope to want to get better, we wish we could just inject hope right into him...but we can't. His biggest impairment right now is not physical as much as it is mental and spiritual.

Amidst the muck and mire, there are rays of hope that we cling to...we have to or we'd go completely nuts. He is off the respirator!! I remember days of yore when we prayed to get rid of that thing. Also, his cognition has shown improvement in the past weeks and there is no sign of delay or damage from the accident! There was some concern that he was just a little slower in cognition, but at this time his mental capacity is back to (and I say this loosely) "normal"....what great news. And I quote one of our favorite nurses when I say "he is making the most beautiful urine!" Clean, clear, and lots of it. The best pee we've seen yet! His kidneys are not completely better, but how can we be anything but ecstatic about beautiful pee...

Time slowly creeps on...the days feel like weeks....the weeks feel like months...and we still have as many unknowns as we started with. And now we're dealing with a dad that doesn't seem to care anymore. How can this get any harder than it already is? How can this mud we're trudging though get any deeper, any thicker, any more ridiculously stinky?

I have to believe with all my heart that God is bigger than this mud. His love for us is deeper, wider, higher than we can comprehend. His grace is sufficient when we have nothing left...his wisdom towers above our tiny human brains...and His strength carries us when we don't have the energy to go on another day. If He cares enough to make a gorgeous sunset on a cold winter day, how much more does He care for you? for me? for dad? We are infinitely more valuable to God than the oceans, the stars, the sun. More valuable than the sun...can you fathom that? Now that is some serious love.

We lift up our dad to the God of creation, the God who made him, the One who knows him the best. We pray that God would speak to dad in this very moment, that he would have peace, joy, and a desire to live the life God has chosen for him.

And we pray for hope. Lots and lots of hope.

Sleepy (but Sunny!) Sunday

It was a very sleepy day for dad...yesterday really wore him out. The encouraging news is that he's been off of the respirator for six days and he's doing well. Woo-hoo! The next step is for him to tolerate having his talking valve in all of the time...so he continues to wear it more and more each day. When he's comfortable with that, they will start capping off the trach a little at a time until he's completely weaned off of it. The reason it takes some time is that he needs to get used to breathing out of his mouth and nose as opposed to the trach in his throat. His voice and breath strength are much weaker now because of the time lost in the ICU, so it will take work to build them back up again. It will also take extra time because of his anxiety with his breathing. It's really up to dad how long this whole process will take...he has been given breathing exercises he must do daily which will strengthen his throat, so if he follows through, the whole trach could be gone in two weeks. That would be crazy awesome, so our prayer is that he is motivated to do the work and has a fighting attitude. Much of his progress is really in his own hands, so we pray, pray, pray for his heart and mind.

We thank God that there are new baby steps to be focused on...it may be slow but there is progress being made. Things that were easily overlooked before...like a beautiful sunset as we left the hospital...are seen with new, more appreciative eyes. What a creator...God's timing continues to be perfect, and His work in our lives continues to be evident. Blessings abound...

A Note from Peege

Dad is doing okay. The exciting news is that P.J. and Kersta are in town for the weekend...I know Pops loved seeing them, so I thought Peege could do the blogging and share his thoughts from today:

Its days like today that I will never forget. Kersta and I walked into the rehab unit unsure of what to expect. The last time we had seen dad he was heavily sedated and still under incredible trauma in the ICU. For us the last 7 weeks consisted of logging online and talking to family to get the latest updates. We were blessed to have an afternoon of sitting by his side and just being thankful of his presence. Today was pretty simple, after the mornings commotion of the grandkids and a haircut dad was pretty tired so we took a nap in his bed while he dozed off next to us in his chair. Later in the afternoon we were able to hear him work the vocal chords a bit. We talked about God's plan and our need to live with a spirit of gratitude for all that we have. I asked him a lot of questions, many of which I was eager to ask. He also had a number of questions for us which was great because we were told that he needs to strengthen his vocals and throat muscles. He was very enthusiastic and interested to hear about our new life in Colorado. He asked questions about our jobs, our friends and he reminded us again and again how much he loved us. It was a very sweet afternoon. One of the most memorable moments was when I asked him if he had anger with the situation or at God. He responded with saying, "God...no, I am not angry at Him, He has been so good to me." Another great moment was when we were touching his left hand and he told me to lift it up. When I lifted it up he showed us how he could make a little wrist movement and he said with his gentle voice "That gives me hope." All in all it was a great day. I am so thankful for having a dad that is allowing the Lord to work in his heart. Dad is still dad and despite his very fragile condition I can't believe how he still does all that he can to put his family first. Praise God for the work He has done in dad and the work He will continue to do. The battle is not over, there is much more work to be done but as we have read in the book of John we know that in this world we will have trouble but we must take heart for He has overcome the world. Thank you God for your promise. Thank you also to all of you who continue to cover our family in prayer.

Keep on Praying

Prayer really is powerful, why do I doubt? Dad had a great morning. A complete turn around from yesterday...he was positive, talkative, ready to work. I am again amazed at how God hears us...and sometimes answers so quickly. Dad is showing an attitude that we haven't seen in what seems to be weeks. I know that God is teaching us about prayer...that although we would do anything to avoid the pain in our lives, God sees these times as precious because it's when we call on Him more than ever before. He knows our hearts and hears our prayers, and quite frankly, loves it when we talk to Him. We prayed for a change in dad's heart, and overnight dad's heart changed. Does that amaze anyone else?....because it certainly amazes me. It shouldn't...I've seen answered prayer in my life....but it does. Proof that growing in your faith is a journey that never ends....always more to learn.

So thank you for praying for my dad. He did have a good morning, but later this afternoon he seemed to go downhill just a little bit. Let's keep up the prayers...for his attitude, his drive, and his heart. Knowing dad is being 'marinated' in prayer makes me so thankful...knowing God is answering our prayers leaves me in awe of His power.

God is amazing. God is real. He shows us just how real He is when He answers prayer within hours of asking. We give Him all the glory.

V-Day

I think I just want to ask a specific prayer request tonight. Dad is the same, he had a fair amount of rehab today which is good. But we ask for prayer concerning his attitude. His therapists tell him what to work on, how to improve his swallowing, how to get his lungs stronger, etc. but a lot of the time dad doesn't choose to follow through. You would expect him to have the desire to do everything possible to get stronger and be more independent, but we just aren't seeing much drive lately. Of course, we don't know what he's going through, we can't feel what he's feeling, but we can pray that God would give him determination and hunger to recover. So let's be specific in our prayers...that dad would have a renewed desire to work hard, that he would have an attitude of hope. Pep talks and encouragement can only do so much. Ultimately, we cannot change dad's attitude...but God can.

So we lift him up in prayer tonight, that God would be working in him and that dad would know and believe that God truly has a plan for his life. Prayer works...that is His promise...so we ask God to work mightily in dad's heart and mind. If his mind is in the right place, hopefully his body will follow...

No Iced Tea....Yet

Dad was able to have the swallow test this morning, but unfortunately he did not pass. Quite a bummer to say the least. Because the muscles in his throat have been idle for so long, he is unable to control them completely, which means when he swallows, a small amount of food goes into his windpipe and lungs. Obviously, not good. The encouraging news is that this problem is not a result of his accident but rather from the weakness in his muscles. So his therapist will test him again in 2 or 3 weeks to see if his muscle control has improved. Apparently, patients seem to retain the muscles needed for swallowing as they go through rehab, so we pray that he progresses and passes the next test. So here's to three more weeks of oatmeal bags.....

Although the day seemed to be headed in the wrong direction, God gave us a few blessings to balance it out...dad moved across the hall and is now a 'rehab' patient. Yahoo! This means that his therapy schedule will become more rigorous and he'll be working his butt off in rehab. Yahoo! It will be hard, exhausting, and frustrating work...but we all know it's the only thing that will make him stronger. No pain, no gain, baby.

And remember the "permanent" dialysis catheter that was implanted into his shoulder a few weeks back? The one that would allow him to have kidney dialysis on a regular basis? They took it out. No need for it. He makes his own urine. Ain't nothing to it.

So thank God for some good things today...for some reason, He does not want dad eating or drinking quite yet, and that's okay. We'll wait for the right time. (Easy for me to say as I sip on a nice Diet Pepsi with Lime.) He still has some problems with secretions which are completely exhausting for him, and he still has a loooong way to go, but we praise God for a few more baby steps. His timing is perfect...100% of the time.

Anticipation

Tomorrow has the potential to be a great day. Dad may be moving across the hall to the 'rehab' side of the spinal cord unit. Since reentering a few weeks ago, he has been an 'acute' patient because of the kidney and lung problems. Even though there hasn't been great improvement, the doctors think he may be ready for more rehab, so that's awesome. We pray that the move happens, as it's a definite step in the right direction.

Another big prayer request for tomorrow is regarding the very anticipated swallow test. The swallow test determines if he will be able to eat and drink. Because of the nature of his accident, they need to extensively test to see if all the necessary functions are in tact, and that nothing gets aspirated into his lungs. As long as everything goes well between now and then, the swallow test is scheduled for tomorrow morning. This test is huge, and it seems we have been waiting a loooong time for it to come. Dad has not been able to even drink water since the accident, and has only been able to rinse his mouth then suction it out. You can imagine how nice it would be to drink....and eat again. I asked him what he wants to drink first and he said "iced tea". Eating real food (as opposed to the bags of 'oatmeal') is vital too as it could help with the protein problem he's been having with his kidneys.

So we're praying for a great day tomorrow...a move across the hall, a swallow test with positive results, and on top of that, we pray that the respirator may be gone for good (again) and he would be able to speak on a regular basis. Wow, so many big things...if it all really happens, I'm a little worried we may explode from excitement...

I praise God for the potential tomorrow holds, and I praise God for the hope that it may bring. And if none of it happens, we praise God for giving us the glimpse that someday it might.

To God be the glory.

Choosing Joy

Sometimes, all we can do is choose joy. Dad's still coughing up a lot of gunk. We are choosing joy. His lungs are still full of fluid. We are choosing joy. Another long day of the same old thing. We are choosing joy.

Even when I haven't an ounce of creativity left in me, I thank God that I have just enough energy to choose joy. It's what He calls us to do in the midst of trials, and we give Him glory for the work He continues to do in our lives.

Choose joy.

Hey Good Lookin'

Not much changed with dad's health today...but he certainly got a new look. He finally got a good shampoo (not one of those weak, hospital bed shampoos), a hair trim, and was wearing a button-up, collared shirt. For the first time in two months, he looks like Pops again. So exciting! For the short time I was with him today, he seemed in good spirits, working hard on his hand exercises, and quite happy with his fresh GQ look.

Mom had some big decisions to make regarding the power chair that will be custom made for him to go home in. Dad will be so proud to know that she pimped it out with the best wheels, good lookin' rims, and, of course, the fastest motor. After first choosing the 'normal' motor, she decided that there's no way Pops would want the 'normal' motor. So she went back and ordered the fastest motor possible...it goes 8 miles per hour. Sounds unimpressive, but the average human walks quickly at 3 miles per hour. Whoa, baby. If you know him at all, you know how he loves fast cars and big horsepower...and he's gonna be sooooo happy with mom's change of heart. If he's going to be in a wheelchair the rest of his life...we want him to have the joy of having the fastest one on the road. God love him.

Our God is big. Our God can move mountains. If it's His will, maybe we'll see a miracle in dad's limbs. If not, we'll be forever running trying to keep up with him in his sweet ride...

And that's a sweet picture to imagine...

Waiting

Dad was pretty wiped out today. He had fewer secretions this afternoon which was good. He even got to go to the gym for a quick session with his physical therapist. Overall, he's about the same. His doctor said right now they must wait to see if his lungs and kidneys improve. They won't start aggressive rehab until he is more stable, so there's really nothing to do but wait. He still has fluid in his lungs which is unexplainable, and his kidneys are making urine (hooray) but for some reason they are also stripping his body of much needed protein. So they are working to see if they can remedy that with his nutrition intake. At this point, the doctor said he is in a 'holding pattern', they are just hoping to see improvement as his body slowly gets stronger. There's no saying when or if that will happen.

The bottom line is....more waiting...more praying. Could this be moving any slower? I don't think so...or at least it feels that way. And if we are tired of waiting, you can imagine how Pops feels. It's pretty clear that God has much more for us to learn through this whole ordeal. Waiting stinks...but my prayer is that when our wait is over, God will blow us away with what He's got planned next.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that God's plan is always worth the wait.

Secretions Galore

It was a tough day for Pops as his secretions are back and he spent most of the day being suctioned. It's still unknown why his lungs are so full of stuff and we hope that tomorrow's chest x-ray shows signs of progress.

We found out that Mikey won't be able to meet Bapa for at least six weeks, as it's not safe to have him around that kind of environment. So we'll just have to be patient until Bapa is well enough to meet his grandson. Definitely a bummer, but we don't need another sick Bohrman.

So another day...as mom said tonight, it would just be amazing if we could have two positive days in a row. It seems as soon as things start looking up, something else starts going down. So we keep on praying for his lungs and that he has strength to keep fighting. Heck, strength for all of us to keep fighting. This two months has felt like two years, and there's a long, long road ahead.

All we can do is rest in the fact that God is leading the way.

A Busy Guy

Dad's days in the SCIC certainly are busy...I don't think we ever had more than ten minutes alone with him before we were interrupted by nurses and "ists" who needed to see him. He doesn't get much rest during the day, but it helps him sleep well at night...although throughout the night he gets woken up by nurses and "ists" as well. Thankfully, all of his caretakers are great people and love working with him...no question he's in excellent hands.

His kidneys continue to be working, just not exactly how they should be. It's awesome that they seem to have kicked in, but the docs are still trying to figure out why they're not quite right. Still an answer to prayer and encouraging to think he may not need dialysis for the rest of his life.

The secretions were better today, but his lungs are also not what they should be. He has some fluid in his lungs that the doctors can't explain...they don't think it's pneumonia again, but they have definite concerns about what may be causing it. He is still being weaned from the respirator, so they will be watching his lungs closely to see if they improve. Basically, our prayer is for healthy, dry lungs, properly functioning kidneys, and for him to get off that respirator for good.

In between therapists we were able to take a cruise through the halls with him. It was pretty sweet to watch Cole and Paige taking their first "walk" with Bapa...with Cole leading the way, dad closely behind, and Paige marching directly in back of dad's chair. Bittersweet to say the least, as we realize that he'll be a radically different Bapa in so many ways. But, of course, deep down, very much the same.

Thank God for so much that is the same....same sense of humor, same heart, same smile, same passion for all things involving grandkids and/or motors. With all that's been "lost", we praise God that we still have our Pops, Bapa, and Bohr that we all love so much. God continues to do His work, and we continue to give Him the glory.

Bapa of Three, Maker of Pee

What a day! Becky started having contractions early this morning and at four o'clock this afternoon, dad became the proud Bapa of Michael Joseph Bohrman, a beautiful 8 lb. 7 oz. baby boy that joins brother Cole and sister Paige. Mike was able to share the news with Pops via speaker phone moments after the delivery, and as soon as Mike said, "Bapa, you have another grandson", dad just started to cry. Tears of joy, of course, and it was the sweetest silent sobbing I've ever seen. As dad took his power chair for a lap around the floor, his nurses and therapists who had been waiting for news all day came to congratulate him on the new grandbaby. He is one proud Bapa. Becky's doing great and little Michael is super cute and looks a lot like big brother Cole. Mikey and Bapa will officially meet on Thursday, so we'll be sure to get a picture...

To add to the excitement, Pops had some news of his own to share with me when I walked in the room. "I'm making pee!", he exclaimed/mouthed with pure joy. And what's not joyful about making pee! It turns out he did not have dialysis today because his kidneys kicked in and for the most part are doing their job! Amazing! He still may need dialysis in the near future, and it's too soon to tell if his kidneys are functioning at 100%, but for today, his kidneys work, and urine has never been so exciting. My jaw dropped when I saw his left arm today, with absolutely no swelling whatsoever. Unbelievable. Praise God.

The only down side to today was that he continues to have a huge amount of secretions, which is all the mucus and yucky stuff that is getting coughed up from his pneumonia. Because he lacks the strength to cough it up, it just sits in his throat until a nurse can suction him by sticking a tube down his throat through the trach. Sounds gross and totally painful because...well, it is. Although it's necessary to get all that gunk out, it is annoying and very uncomfortable for him to have to be forcefully gagged every 30 minutes. So it was an exhausting day for him in every sense. His body is still in survival mode, so every ounce of his energy is needed for healing.

What a day! When I left the hospital tonight, Pops had fallen asleep with a smile on his face. I couldn't help but think of our prayer last night for energy and hope. God gave dad renewed energy through kidneys that are suddenly making pee...yahoo! And God gave us all hope through the birth of a beautiful, healthy baby boy, little Mikey. Today is a day we stand in awe of the God of the universe, who in the midst of struggle and pain, gave us a glimpse of his power, his love, and his never-ending goodness. After a day like today, how can we do anything but praise God for loving us, for choosing us, for giving us more than we could ask or imagine.

Thank you God for new life, for new hope, and for pure, clean urine. You are so, so good to us.

From ICU To SCIC

Dad moved back upstairs to the Spinal Cord Unit today...thank God. He left the ICU...hopefully for the last time. He's stable for now, so we pray that his body stays strong and it's all uphill from here. Based on past experience, there's surely more downhill road in the future, but we can only take it one day at a time. Mom did say he's a little discouraged that he's starting all over from the beginning, so we pray that God would give him a boost of energy and hope. He should be having dialysis again tomorrow, and hopefully a day full of therapy and rehab. I'm heading up to Wisconsin for the rest of the week and am anxious to see him myself.

God is in control.

Monotony

Alright, alright, Bears lost. Colts are awesome. End of story. On to less frivolous things....

Pops had a pretty good day off of the respirator. He is having a lot of secretions and coughing probably due to his pneumonia clearing. Other than that, there is much less anxiety with his breathing. Praise God.

Tomorrow's move to the Spinal Cord Unit is still on...we'll see what happens. It will be good for him to get back upstairs to continue rehab. The days become quite monotonous so any change of scenery is welcomed.

We continue to have trust in God's timetable...dad will be in the ICU as long as God wants him there. And I pray that the monotony of the days doesn't lessen the fervency of our prayers. God is in day 58 just as much as He was in day 1. My prayer tonight is that we would continue to seek Him with fervency...even when life seems very, very monotonous.

Saturday

An uneventful day for Pops. He seemed a little down compared to yesterday, but thankfully no backwards movement. Tomorrow will be a big day as he will be off the respirator from 6:30 am to 4:30 pm. Keep him in your prayers that he'll have no anxiety. Pray that his lungs are good and strong, unlike Peyton Manning's throwing arm.

As always, praise God for another day.

Hooray for Dialysis

Apparently, it was a great day for Pops. He had dialysis again and it's really helping to reduce his swelling. Even his left arm is less swollen and we haven't seen that go down since the accident. We are realizing how much his kidneys have been affecting his overall health. He is feeling better and better since starting dialysis, and you can see it in his face.

He is gaining a little more control of his right arm, and was working his wrist today more than he has been. Not much finger movement there. But more exciting was when he started moving the wrist on his left hand! Just a little bit of control, and only when mom holds his arm up, but definitely more than anything we've seen so far. Very exciting. Mom said he was in a great mood...seeing his own progress is the best thing for him.

One funny moment was when mom was trimming his mustache. She was trying to get it just right and he was growing impatient. She went in to try to even it out one more time and he stopped her. He rolled his eyes and said, "It's fine. We're not going out today."

Pops may not be going out anytime soon, but he may be movin' on up. Rumor has it that he'll return to the spinal cord unit on Monday. Yes, it's exciting....but we've learned that in hospital talk, "Monday" could very well mean "Thursday". Things tend to take longer than what we're told. But it's encouraging news none the less. They are hoping he will be off the respirator by then, so we keep praying that he continues to do well. He has much less anxiety this time around, and we praise God that he seems to have more peace.

The only anxiety I have witnessed is when I asked him if he was rooting for the Bears or the Colts. A seemingly trivial question, except he now has a son-in-law and daughter-in-law on opposing sides. Opposing with a capital O. He smirked and refused to take sides. Yet. So just a note to our Colt-fanatic Johnson relatives...when the Bears win on Sunday don't let it distract you from continuing to pray for Pops...keep your chins up. Boo-yeah.

Praise God for a great day....exactly eight weeks since the accident. We are so thankful for the way Jesus has brought us closer to Him...albeit in a desperate, hanging-on-for-dear-life sort of way. Closer none the less. I know that this season in our life is so sweet to Him, as we cling to His word like never before. It's easy to ignore God when life is easy and the sailing is smooth. But the pain and desperation of these months, the stormy seas if you will, are what bring us to the feet of Jesus. Smooth sailing is nice, but the excitement, the rush, the real joy...that only comes when you're in the storm.

Thank you God, for being with us in the storm.

Hope

A quiet day for Pops. He works hard to breathe when he's off of the resprirator, but he's doing well. He's usually off for five hours, then on for one. He doesn't like to mouth much while off the respirator because he needs to focus on his breathing, so it was a pretty quiet day.

They did get him up in his chair for some time, so that's good. He'll have dialysis again tomorrow. Doctors are still baffled as to why his kidneys aren't working. All we do is wait.

Who knows...there may be change tomorrow, or things may stay this way for some time. It's hard to tell. I distinctly remember four weeks ago thinking that in a month, dad would be so much farther. It's hard to believe that a month later, he's no better, if not worse. Still lots of unknowns.

But we have hope. Hope that he's healing. Hope that the Lord continues to work in him. Hope that the Bears win the Superbowl. (Inappropriate timing? Maybe. True? Of course.)

Hope is a beautiful thing. Thank you God for not being baffled. In a world of unknowns, thanks for giving us hope. We are trusting in You.